MTV Movie Awards 2015 - My Fashion Review

I don't know what it is about the fashion at this latest award season but I was bored - like in a coma bored. There was no fashion moments at all. Every award show I was thinking 'ok maybe they are saving The Dress for the next award show', I was wrong every time and I hate been wrong. I think maybe the best fashion we saw maybe have been at the Golden Globes - Julianne Moore in that silver Givenchy dress has stuck with me.

So I lay my cards on the table and I was like this is the award show, this is the show where we are going to see some fashion moments. It's MTV for god's sake, there are no rules. Wear what you want and make no apologies. We have a much younger crowd and and a much younger celeb pool. Damn, wrong again. Watching the stars on the red carpet bored me once again. A lot of thigh cut dresses, a few geometric shapes, oh look - legs legs legs. We saw a lot of knees, which is uncomfortable for me as I hate my knees but I digress. I picked a few looks from the night for us to discuss and ponder. I don't particularly have a best or worst dressed list - just a list.

Shailene Woodley
I don't know how to spell the noise of exasperation, but I will give it a go - peurgh. Boring. I get she has this free spirit, eats clay and uses beets for makeup but come on. The reason we look up to celebrities is because they are unattainable, they have access that we can only dream of. I could probably get in a taxi, drive down past Central St. Martins and slap about 30 students on the back of the head who would love to dress her and could do it a damn lot better than this. If she was going for comfort then I give it to her, she looks comfortable. I champion anyone who mixes patterns so well done for that, but those boots are too heavy. The fault is in her closet (get it? I am hi-lar-ious)

Scarlett Johansson 
Honest to Jesus the first thought I had when I saw her was 'oh, Jane Fonda looks good'. Lie to me and tell me you don't see what I am talking about. This is the kind of outfit that would make an older lady look more youthful, but unfortunately it works the complete opposite way round on Scarlett.  Also if you are going to wear a jumpsuit it has to be perfectly tailored. She has an amazing body and you can't see an inch of it, also it is too long. It should graze the floor, not cover it. I feel like a thin belt would have elevated this look a touch more - anything would have elevated this outfit more. Taking the outfit of would have elevated the outfit more.

Jennifer Lopez
Does this woman age? Like seriously. She could probably play her own daughter in a biopic and no one would question the casting choice. Anyway back to the fashion. Gorgeous. Age appropriate. My favourite colour. Legs for days. Perfect cleavage. The gold on black might be a bit brash but it works for me and for the location. If I had to say anything negative (and this took a lot of soul searching) it would be the shoes; I hate thin ankle straps. They cut the leg and can make you look dumpy. Also there may be one too many bracelets. Lopez is the queen, she rarely disappoints and everyone else should take notes on how this is done.

Amy Shumer
HILARIOUS! I love this woman. Nevers fails to make me laugh. I have never looked at Amy for fashion but I am going to start. She is flaunting all her best assets. Boobs and legs. The thick white lines draw the eyes in to all the right places, the hair is effortlessly quaffed and the accessories are minimal - which is dead on because this outfit doesn't call for them. If we could take a moment to appreciate the shoes. I love a peep toe pump. They elongate the leg, give you an excuse to spend some dollars on a pedicure and they suit everyone. She has just upped her game by like a thousand points.

Kiersey Clemons
She is an undeniable star on the rise. She is stunning and talented. She is going places. And right now she is going to top of my fashion list. This dress is effortless. MTV has no rules and you could wear ready to wear or couture. Kiersey has found the perfect medium. I am not normally a fan of yellow and I would personally never wear it, but against her skin tone this is flawless. The draped top half shows of her figure and floor hitting skirt adds height and is beautiful. I also like the sleeve length, it looks wrong and maybe too long but the gathering at the wrist adds to the relaxed chic. My one criticism, and its a tiny one, is the slit. It stops at a weird height. It either needs to ride right up to the top or no slit at all. I think all the way to top would be sexier and give the gown a more robe appearance which could work so well.

Cara Delevingne 
It is so rare to see someone's star rise so fast, lately it seems to be Cara's world and we just have the privilege to watch her. Coming from the fashion world we shouldn't be shocked that she knows how to rock a carpet. Personally I am not in love with this dress, but I actually think its the styling I don't like more than the dress it self. Her hair kind of ruins it for me. I think a fuller, more relaxed wavy hair do would have done the dress more justice. And also because she has so much leg out I think a more wow shoe could have been worn. My main concern with the dress is the sleeves. My God I hate bell bottom sleeves. They are old fashioned and I don't understand. I think a slim fit sleeve would have been perfection.

Jessie J
Oh Jessie, Jessie, Jessie. Face palm. What is this? Are you retiring to Florida? Are you a big fan of Liza Minnelli? Are you trying to do a one woman version of 'Creep" by TLC but with a thousand more sequins? I don't understand. The colour does nothing for your skin tone, the hair needs some more umph and the choker just seems unnecessary. I love you Jessie, your last album was perfect and your voice is unmatched. This was just a fail. I am jealous of your body and I can't imagine the work that goes in to it so why wouldn't you want to show it off?! Jesus knows I would.

I would just like to take a moment to celebrate three of my favourite looks from the night. Step forward Hailee Steinfeld and Rebel Wilson. Then of course the incomparable Bai Ling - she wore a freaking dragon!!

Judging You

There are only a few reasons that we watch reality TV competitions. One being the talent, but lets face facts - we want to see someone get ripped apart by a mean judge. Yes, they are giving them a reality check and will thank them in the long run, but my days does it make good television. And we Brits do it best, just look at countless reality shows around the world and you will find a mean Brit on them. The X Factor has just reared its ugly head again here in the UK and with wide open arms we have welcomed Simon back, he is the man you want to destroy your hopes and dreams. I watch a lot of reality TV competitions from singing to modelling to cooking to SFX make up to tattoos. I have picked my favourite 10 that I feel every judge around the world should aspire to be.

Mary Berry - Great British Bake Off

With her signature phrases like 'soggy bottom' to her killer Zara bomber jackets she is the baking Queen. She is loveable and adorable but isn't afraid to pull a face and tell someone when their cake is too dense. She is everything I hope to be when I am a 79 year old woman.

Jessie J - The Voice UK

She will say until she is blue in the face that she is a mentor not a judge, however that big red button says different, she is judging someone's singing, but whatever I digress. What I love about her is honesty and her knowledge, this girl knows a thing or two about singing and she isn't afraid to let you know.

Mel B - The X Factor (UK and Australia) and America's Got Talent

As a life long Spice Girl's fan I am more than happy to still see Scary on my screen. She is a veteran of the music world so who better to judge up and comers. She is brutally honest to the point where she disregards people's feelings (they need to hear it). Also lets be honest with ourselves she is shitting all over Cheryl in this years X Factor.

Jay Alexander - America's Next Top Model
Why he was ever let go from this show I will never know or begin to understand. Thank the heavens above he is back for Cycle 21. He is the definition of fabulous and has legs that a show pony would kill for. He makes me laugh more than most and I live for his fashion and quips.

Kelly Cutrone - America's Next Top Model
Fist seen as the boss you don't want to mess with on The Hills she was quickly snapped up by Tyra to join ANTM. She was the perfect choice. Honest isn't the word for how she speaks, she has no time for people who aren't right for the job or willing to work. She made me laugh from the first episode this cycle, when asked if she was ready by Tyra she turned around and said 'I'm ready to crush some dreams' - bow down bitches.

Dannii Minogue - The X Factor (UK and Australia), Australia's Got Talent and Britain's Next Top Model
When she was revealed as a judge there were a lot of 'Why?', but she soon shut the doubters up. She is warm, loveable and bursting with personality. She is very honest and very loyal to who she supports. I fell in love with her, and if I had to pick my dream judging panel she would be rubbing shoulders with Simon again in a heartbeat.

Tyra Banks - America's Next Top Model
This show gets weirder and weirder by the cycle, but the constant that keeps this show brilliant is Miss Tyra Banks. She cares, gives great advice and isn't afraid to scream at a girl who won't shut up. It would be hard to top her yelling at Tiffany at judging to top any talent show moment for me.

Simon Cowell - The X Factor (UK and US), Pop Idol and Britain's Got Talent
Not the original but definitely the best. He is the approval I will be searching for for my entire life, even if he enjoyed a coffee I made for him I could die a happy man. I have the weirdest crush on him, his power, confidence and well pressed white shirts just do something to me.

Nicole Sherzinger - The X Factor (UK and US)
I love this woman and hate her for the exact same reasons. She is gorgeous, talented and has a loveable personality to boot - she is everything I aspire to be. When she was brought in to replace Cheryl as a judge on The X Factor US some of us may have been sceptical, however she was the perfect replacement. Love her.

Heidi Klum - Project Runway, Germany's Next Top Model and America's Got Talent
This German beauty has become the opinion on all types of talent and skill. She comes from a view of a normal person, she isn't pretending she knows the ins and outs of everything she is just giving her honest opinion and reaction - she is the model face and body of the view of the general viewing public really. Plus I love her accent, I want a kiss on the cheek with an 'Auf Wiedersehen'.

Neon Jungle - New Love

I have a lot of love for this new girlband. They are fun, feisty and have an amazing style. Their songs range from club anthems, to dup step to heartbreaking ballads. Their album has it all, it would be hard to categorise them. I am literally telling anyone who will listen that they need to hear this album. I was shocked as I was expecting a lot of dub step - boy was I wrong. The selection of songs is like putting your entire iTunes playlist on shuffle - something for everyone. Also they do a couple of covers, random songs you wouldn't expect like Banks' 'Waiting' and Hozier's 'Take me to Church'. They are both exceptional, these aren't just pretty voices, these girls can siing!

However, the main point of this post is that I wanted to showcase something they do which more people need to see. They do a lot of covers of popular songs, they put their own twist on them and they become something else. From Britney to Miley it seems like they can sing anything if given the chance.

So as I do I have created a list, this is a list of my top 5 favourite Neon Jungle covers.

5. Britney Spears - Work Bitch

4. Miley Cyrus - We Can't Stop

3. Jessie J Mash Up

2. Lorde - Royals

1. Hozier - Take Me To Church

I really could listen to these beauty's all day. They have a unique style about them, I particularly love Asami's voice, not to put anyone else down, but she is special.

You don't know you're beautiful? Listen to these.

There is a type of song that I absolutely love, and that type of song would be the girl power song. I know I know I am one of those penis carriers. I shouldn't even listen to these songs as they aren't for my kind - the men. However they clutter my iTunes. There is something so beautiful about them, these music icons are putting aside their own dramas and lives to write and sing songs that let their young female fans know that they aren't alone out there. For every insecurity they have and every issue they are currently dealing with they are letting their fans know they aren't alone. These fans can bond over this and maybe just maybe listen to these songs and find the courage to face their demons and live. So, as I do I have written a short list of some of my favourite acts that sing some kick ass girl power songs:

1. Destiny's Child - Story Of Beauty/Independent Women Part 1/Survivor

This band can be described as a true champion of women. They have written a few songs for woman to chant, fist bump and scream too. My favourite girl power song would be 'Story Of Beauty'. It tells a story of a young girl who doesn't know her worth after she has had a troubled life.

Favourite lyric - 'I hope one day she realise and sees the beauty in her eyes. All she needs is prayer and strength because she is beautiful'

2. TLC - Unpretty

This has to be an anthem for a generation of girls who never felt pretty enough. Instead of being condescending they sing about feeling the same way. TLC have always been about girl power, mainly about how girls are not be messed with and they are just as strong as men - so it must have been comforting for the female fans to know that Left Eye, T-Boz and Chilli also have their insecurities.

Favourite Lyric - 'Why do I look to all these things, To keep you happy. Maybe get rid of you and then I'll get back to me'

3. Little Mix - Little Me/Change Your Life/Wings

Instead of singing about boys and love, these girls came running out the gate singing about girl power. First song 'Wings' was a marching anthem for all girls to know they can fly and do what they want. For young girls these girls are great, as we have watched them from the audition stages we know they are four average lasses who achieved the impossible. Favourite girl power song of theirs would be 'Little Me' - it sings about being who you are and not being afraid, the catch is the song is actually written to their younger selves.

Favourite Lyric - 'You gotta speak up, you gotta shout out, And know that right here, right now, You can be beautiful, wonderful, Anything you wanna be'

4. Christina Aguilera - Beautiful/Fighter/Can't Hold Us Down

Everyone knows 'Beautiful' and most will know the words. Its an amazing song about feeling beautiful in ugly situations. Fun fact about this song is that the released version is the first demo she did, the writer liked the rawness and organic feeling it had, she didn't want another version. This is definitely a song that young girls need to hear and take in.

Favourite Lyric - 'We are beautiful in every single way. Yes, words can't bring us down, oh, no. So don't you bring me down today'

5. Jessie J - Who You Are

If its not her killer vocals that slay you then its the message of this song. It tells about the struggle to just be you. Its hard to express one's self sometimes, Jessie captures the thoughts of so many of us in the song. It is one my favourite songs of all time (and also one of my favourite songs to scream along to when home alone, or when I want to piss off the twin). For the past 4 acts I have picked favourite lyrics, but basically every word is perfect - but to keep the flow I have chosen one.

Favourite Lyric - 'Its okay not to be okay'

6. Selena Gomez - Who Says

This is one of those songs that we would love to shout at our bullies. She is basically calling out her tormentors and asks them why, whilst also talking to her fans about how they are entitled to feel beautiful even if others pull you down. I love the message of this song, I mean it is so right. Who says we can't be what we want to be? No one has that control.

Favourite Lyric - 'I’m sure you got some things. You’d like to change about yourself. But when it comes to me I wouldn’t want to be anybody else.'

7. P!nk - Fuckin' Perfect

If theres one thing that I love about P!nk its her brutal honesty. She sings about what she wants and does what she wants. This song didn't come as a shock because she has always been a champion of the underdog. This song is just fucking perfect. The video made me weep like a hungry child. This is one of those songs that you know helped a lot of people.

Favourite Lyric - 'Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me'

8. Lady Gaga - Born This Way

This song isn't just about girl power, its about humans. It is written for all of us. It is a song we can raise a fist too and scream at the top of our longs if we ever feel like we can't be us. Don't apologise for not been like someone else. We are who we are. She does a lot for her fans with making them feel special and I feel like she encapsulates in this song. If she was to leave this earth tomorrow that would be her legacy.

Favourite Lyric - 'No matter gay, straight, or bi, Lesbian, transgendered life, I'm on the right track baby, I was born to survive. No matter black, white or beige Chola or orient made, I'm on the right track baby, I was born to be brave.'

9. Demi Lovato - Skyscraper

She recorded this song after a very dark period of her life. This song was her coming out song if you like, she didn't let her illness bring her down. It is a beautiful song with even more beautiful vocals behind it. It sends a message that if your truly believe in yourself you can do whatever you want.

Favourite Lyric - 'Go on and try to tear me down, I will be rising from the ground, Like a skyscraper'

10. Kelly Clarkson - Stronger/People Like Us/Mr Know It All/Miss Independent/Dark Side

Our Kelly sure knows how to belt a powerful song out. Her voice is flawless and really can make you stop in your tracks sometimes. My favourite songs of hers are always her positive anthems. The power of her voice really reflects the power of the message she tries to tell. My favourite is probably 'People Like Us', this song came and went rather unnoticed which was unfortunate as it says a lot that people should hear.

Favourite Lyric - 'People like us, we've gotta stick together. Keep your head up nothing lasts forever. Here's to the damned, to the lost and forgotten. It's hard to get high when you're living on the bottom'

Honourable Mentions

Beyonce - Pretty Hurts

One Direction - That's what makes you beautiful

Ke$ha - We Are Who We Are

Alicia Keys - Girl On Fire

Nicki Minaj - Fly

Katy Perry - Firework

Glee Cast - Loser Like Me

30 Seconds To Mars - The Edge

Kellie Pickler - Don't You Know You're Beautiful

Aretha Franklin - Respect

Des'ree - Gotta Be

Keri Hilson - Pretty Girl Rock

Supergroups!

Inspired by the formation of McFly and Busted as one big supergroup; I thought I would create some that world needs/wants. Before you say, yes they are all female. I can't help it; I love a good female singing voice.

Little Saturday
A combination of Little Mix and The Saturdays. Unfortunately we live in a world where there can only be one raining girl band at a time, fortunately for us when one goes quiet the other one steps in - so they both get chart success and the attention they deserve. Combining these two groups would be genius, it was give us one amazing girl band that would be unrivalled! They are pure pop fun and they deserve more than what we give them.

DCTLC
What would happen if you put the two biggest selling girl groups of all time together in the same room? Magic I am sure of it. Separately they have dominated - together they would conquer. The tour would be a spectacle and would sell out in minutes the world round. Just like TLC were going to at the American Music Awards (but didn't!) they should hologram in a Left Eye and it would literally be the best show on Earth! I am actually getting excited and its not even happening - it was created by me, boredom, 4 am and Photoshop.

Jessie, Paloma, Adele, Ellie and Florence
Arguably the five best voices we have birthed in this country in the last few years. Just now I thought about Emeli Sande as a sixth member - chills. The shows would be epic and beyond any vocal performances anyone has ever seen, Separately they have sold out arenas - together they could sell out stadiums around the freaking world. I need this to happen, I am too excited for it not to happen.

The Ultimate English Girl Group

I have always been a huge fan or girl bands. In 10 seconds I could name Spice Girls, The Saturdays, TLC, Destiny's Child, Mis-teeq, The Pussycat Dolls, The Veronicas, The Supremes, Little Mix as some of my favourites over the years. However, I always want more. So I think it would be a great idea for some big-wigs at some big record company to put some money into a new one. 

I have done the hard work for them and picked 5 English girls (after some research I have found out that Marina Lambrini Diamandis is Welsh but shh lets ignore that for the benefit of this post). 

1st pick is Adele, she is the voice that made the world cry. She would obviously be the Beyonce of the group.

2nd pick is Jessie J, her voice is phenomenal - perfect for the shouts and screams at the end of the song.

3rd pick is Ellie Goulding, her voice is so special and her voice is perfect live, she could be second lead.

4th pick is Marina, she is quirky and special and her song writing is so unique, she would write the perfect pop song for them.

5th pick is Alesha Dixon, her MCing abilities are crazy. Her stage presence is amazing. She would add an urban edge to the group.

So there you go, hard work done now just get them to sign the contract - start with a one single deal and we can take it from there. 
Can you imagine the tour! As this was my idea I believe I should get front and centre.