2015 - A New Me (A Cliché)

HAPPY NEW YEAR folks! It has slowly crept up on us and then smacked us in the face, 2014 is over and we have to welcome a new year in to our lives. I personally haven't gotten used to writing 2014 as a date and now I have to change that. I feel after school the years don't matter as much, its just another year - not a whole lot changes from December 31st to January 1st.

2014 wasn't a particularly big year in my life, yeah I finished university but that was kind of it. I tried dipping my toes in a career but it didn't work out. I am not bitter about, it is what it is. I floated through 2014 if I am honest. I had no direction and just took things as they came. I am someone that doesn't plan anything, plans scare me - I don't like been tied to anything, and I feel having a plan is way too structured.

However as cliché as it sounds I am going to make a change. People may scoff at others that take a new year as a chance to change things, but for me I think its a great starting point. It's a perfect day to sit and reflect and give yourself the little jump off that you need. Figure out what went wrong (or right) and make the next choices relevant for you. I don't want to call them resolutions because knowing me I will probably fail, but I am making decisions about my life and what better day then January 1st to initialise them.

Diet
It has always been a dream of mine to be vegetarian, I feel like I have the mind of a vegetarian but the stomach of a cave man. I love meat - chicken, lamb, fish give me all of it. Its delicious. However I am an animal lover at heart and I have read and seen too many things about animal treatment that it guilts me. One day I plan on going the whole hog and becoming vegan, but baby steps. Also another diet change that isn't just a choice but very much required is a lot less sugar. I am a diabetic and I eat and drink sugary things like I am Augustus Gloop.

Exercise
I might start doing it.

Smoking
Stop.

Money
I never save money, if the money is in the bank it isn't there for long. I need to start putting some away for a rainy day. When you can buy a new outfit or book on the toilet it is hard. For some reason I am one of those people that buy things not to use them for their intent or purpose, but for the pure fact I want to own it. I have clothes and books that haven't seen daylight - I just want to own them. So I think now I am going to put a small percentage away.

Travel
I haven't seen past these shores for 8 years and it kills me. I am nostalgic of places I have never seen. I want to see things in real life instead of through a screen. My plan is to at least get out of this country twice this year. One of my plans have fell through but I am not going to let it stop me. Bon voyage.

Career
First of all I want to decide which career I want. Then aim for it. I walk aimlessly through life and wonder why I didn't get anywhere. I love to write in all different formats so maybe look in to that. I have fashion experience so maybe look in to that. I love all forms of media so maybe look in to that.

Other things I want to do is reconnect with old friends, read more books (that are currently gathering dust under my bed), expand my movie knowledge and lose a shit tonne of weight. So, good luck to all my fellow life changers. Lets do this and ignore all the haters and doubters. So what if we fail, who gives a fuck.

One Size Does Not Fit All

The other day I saw an image of Demi Lovato and underneath it read '20 Plus Size Stars'. I honestly thought this was horrendous. By no stretch of the imagination is she plus size. This lead me to think about how we perceive people. The first impression we get of someone is their appearance and we make a quick judgement, we all do it and we can't help it. If someone is obese we instantly think they eat too much and if we see someone who is skinny we think they have an eating disorder. It's a shame but it is human nature to judge someone.

So much pressure is put on people to look good, to look right.We blame society for our body issues - we are society! We did this to ourselves. We celebrate a celebrity when they lose weight. We judge a celebrity when they put on weight. So how are us 'normal' people supposed to compete. We can't all look the same, that's the true beauty of the human race. We all have something different about us. As long as someone is healthy and not putting themselves in danger then who are we to judge?

 95% of people who develop an eating disorder are aged between 12 and 25 (Obesity is also considered an eating disorder in some cases). These are the years our bodies go through some of the biggest changes naturally, so for someone to have to suffer with an eating disorder at the same time ... I can't even imagine the pain they are going through. I am not saying that we if start to ignore the next fad diet or take notice of what celebrity lost weight that things will change, but for a lot of people it will take the pressure off.

For some people appearance is a competition, they have to look the best - but what is the 'best'? Protruding bones? Pumped up muscles? The darkest tan? The whitest teeth? The fuller hair? No one can answer this because we all have our own opinion. What is beautiful to one person is ugly to the next. So my advise to anyone is just do you! If you want to lose weight do it. If you want to get muscular do it. If you want to not give a shit for a bit and eat that cake in front of the TV do it. You only have to answer to you in the end. Beauty doesn't have to be pain. The most beautiful people are the happy ones.

The next time you see someone who is a bit different and maybe struggling with life a little bit, don't judge them. We all have our own shit going on. Life is hard enough without a Bitch commenting on your appearance. If you see that extremely thin girl in the shopping centre don't tell her to 'go eat a burger', for all you know that's all she wants to do but there is something stopping her. If you see that extremely obese man on a park bench don't call him 'fat and lazy', for all you know he is trying his best and is trying to change his life - your comment isn't the 'motivation' that he needs.

I have struggled for a long time with my weight. I was extremely obese my entire childhood and it was hard. P.E was a constant reminder that I couldn't do what other people could. I never even imagined someone having a crush on me - and I was right, they didn't. Instead I got the 'fat' comments from people who were too pathetic to shut up and be nice. I barely had a social life and I lived up to the 'chubby, happy fat guy' stereotype. It was hard though, I am a romantic at heart and times got a bit lonely. Then later through high school and into college I became obsessed with eating disorders. I didn't develop one. Instead I chose to stop taking my diabetic medication as I heard that you lost weight that way. I am paying the price now. Yes, I may have lost a bit of weight (still a lot to go) but now I have given myself more problems. My eye sight has suffered,  I get shooting pains in my feet sometimes and I am always tired. I am a great example of someone that listened too much to what was 'perfect'.