Gender: My Opinion

I am going to say it straight out the gate - I don't believe in gender for the most part. I believe gender should only be used to describe physical attributes such as external genitalia, sex chromosomes, gonads, sex hormones, and internal reproductive structures. That's it. The word 'gender' should only be used in medical terms in my opinion, I don't believe people should be (or even can be) described clearly as one or the other. At last count there was roughly 7 billion people on Earth, I don't think we can sit back and put people in a box.

Let me explain myself a bit more clearly. I know that for every species there is a male version and a female version. This is down to what they were born with, mainly reproductive organs. I personally believe that is where it should stop. The characteristics that are expected of each gender is where my problem lies. If I was to describe to you what my interests are, what my beliefs are and what my thoughts are, and you couldn't see me; then I think you would struggle to decide what my gender is.

Different people tick different boxes in this world. Back in the day males were thought to be the bread winners, the hunters and gatherers, whilst the females looked after the next and raised the children. However, in this day and age it is all change. Those standards are old fashioned and for good reason. There is nothing wrong with a male wanting to stay home and raise children, and without a shadow of a doubt females can go out and do whatever a male can do. I just hate having to live up to anyone's expectations. No one should have to live up to anything other than the best they can be. If you constantly strive to be something you are not then you are just setting yourself up to fail. This world is a hard place as it is, don't allow yourself to be put under such pressure to achieve the impossible.

For me, gender is a spectrum. We all fall somewhere along the line of masculinity and femininity. They aren't exclusive to penis owners or vagina owners. We need to stop teaching people that males have to be one way and females have to be another way. I have heard 'Man up' way too many times in my life. What does that even mean?? I am a male by medical standards, I got the junk to show for it. That doesn't mean I can't like things that are described as feminine. From a young age it was told to me that males don't cry, we 'take it like a man' which I gather to mean that we don't show our emotions. I am the biggest cry baby I know. Does this not make me male? Guess what, I am still a male. We were taught that females should stay home and raise babies. America might have a female President next year. Does that mean that Hillary isn't female?

It is damaging to teach people that they have to fit in to a box that they were put into before they even had their first thought. Before they could open their eyes, see the world for what it is and decide for themselves. No one should ever be ashamed of been more one thing than another. If you are a masculine male then good for you, if you are a feminine male then good for you and if you are like me and find yourself stuck in the middle, then good for you as well. We all have to live on this tiny planet so can we just let these stupid stereotypes go? They aren't necessary anymore, the world has opened up to us through technology and science that we only have to turn a computer on to see that there are billions of different people, living their authentic lives - happy in themselves and who they are.

No, I am not going to be the male you ask to go watch sports with and that's ok - you can ask someone else. However, if you want to go and watch a gory horror movie then I am your guy.

Frenemies

The Urban Dictionary defines a Frenemy as 'The type of "friend" whose words or actions bring you down.(whether you realise it as intentional or not) The type of friend you ought to cut off but don't because ... they're nice ... good ... you've had good times with them. You know they're good people that you can count on to bring you down again sometime in the near future.'

So why do we keep them around? Why do we do it to ourselves? We should only concern ourselves with people that benefit us. I do not mean this in a selfish way, but I guess maybe in someways I do. Let me explain, we only get one spin on this Earth so lets not waste it. Lets not give our energy or time to someone who is only there to make you feel shit about yourself. When I talk about someone who benefits us I simply mean someone who adds a positive to your life. Someone who gives you the odd compliment, someone who praises you successes , someone who will help you with your failures and even someone that has the rare quality of been excited for something good that is happening to you even if it doesn't affect them. I don't think this is selfish to expect at all, we are all human and able to do these things.

A sad fact is that you're best friend yesterday can be your frenemy tomorrow. Something can change and they can turn sour. Often they will even blame you for it and say that YOU changed or that they finally see 'the real you'. Don't be afraid to call bullshit on this. If you know deep down that you didn't change and even if you did it was for personal growth - then it is their problem, don't try and win someone back by actually changing or reverting. This person may even be delusional and think they are helping you out by giving you the 'truth', they can do one. This person is a poison and you need to be cured instantly.

Cutting someone off can be extremely hard, but believe me it is so worth it in the end. I probably did do it the cowardly way and I just stopped replying - they eventually got it. However, I don't care I am so much happier and freer because of it. I consider myself a lucky person, I have amazing friends who actually seem to want to hang out with me. We may not even speak for months at a time, but for me thats ok. I was never that person that needed a friend handcuffed to me. I have people that can help me if I ever need it and I hope they know I would drop anything to go and help them.

I guess what I am saying is that we should only ever surround ourselves with good people. People who you love and people that love you back. Forget everyone else, this is your turn on this planet and you get to decide how you experience it. Never accept this blurred line of a frenemy - it is better to have an enemy who honestly says they don't like you, than to have a friend who says it behind your back. Don't fear the enemy that attacks you, but the fake friend who hugs you.

An Apple a day ...

Hello, my name is Craig and I am addicted to Apple Products. I love my iPhone, my iPad and my MacBook; they are the closest things to children that I have. And yes as I typed that I realised how sad I sound, I could of hit that backspace button - but no, I will own my sad little life as I am trying this new thing called honesty. I love gadgets, I just don't have the funds to support my habit. I am constantly on one or the other of my Apple products, you will at least see one of them in my hand at all times.

What spurred this blog post was that I just finished watching 'Her' starring Joaquin Phoenix, Amy Adams, Scarlett Johansson, Rooney Mara and Chris Pratt. It was a great film, the general outline is that Joaquin's character falls in love with the operating system (Samantha) of his home computer and phone. The film obviously has a lot more depth than that one sentence delved in to. You should definitely check it out. Anyway, it got me thinking. This film is supposed to be science fiction but of all the sci-fi films I have seen this one definitely stands out as one that could easily happen. We already have Siri, so what is to stop Apple in giving her/him a personality to match each and every individual customer?

I started to think just how much technology is in our lives these days. This lead me to question myself in particular and how I have changed my habits over the years. First of all my Dad buys the paper everyday and every morning I would sit and read it, now I wake up and check Facebook - I have no idea what is happening in the world unless someone posts about it. I check Twitter and Perez Hilton for celeb gossip instead of reading glossy magazines. I go on style.com instead of buying Vogue (okay I still buy it occasionally so I can get some tear sheets). I now download music instead of buying CD's. I now use Netflix or BBC iPlayer instead of watching TV. I order food from the internet instead of cooking or calling a take-away. I buy my clothes off ASOS instead of going into a shop. I buy 90% of my books from Amazon instead of a book store. I even tried online dating instead of meeting people the 'normal' way (it didn't work out, single till I die it seems)  Its all about the ease of it, I literally don't have to move as the world comes to me.

It is so crazy how much the world has changed in recent years when it comes to communicating. So long are the days where you have to wait to hear through the grape vine that someone is pregnant - because BAM I get the due date, the sex, the weight and the potential names within seconds it seems of someone becoming pregnant. I know don't have to wonder what someone is doing these days because within a few clicks my 'Catfish' skills tell me everything. One thing that does annoy me about technology is concerts. They don't mix. At least 25% of the audience will watch the entire concert through a phone screen, put your phone down and live it! Obviously the people who film their favourite songs don't bother me, but if I find myself behind them at a concert I am watching their screens (often judging their lack of photography skills). Some things should be experienced with eyes not a camera. 'Oh wow, did you see that?', 'No, my camera doesn't shoot that wide' - this must be a problem for the amateur concert videographer.

So to wrap up, I love technology and every advancement excites me and the little nerd who lives inside of me. Secretly I do hope to be alive for the flying chairs and obesity in 'Wall-E', but right now I will settle for my MacBook and an office chair.

Pleasuring the masses

Before I start there will be a lot of people that will probably disagree with this post, people that know will probably think I am nowhere near a people pleaser. Well thats not how I feel, read on and you will see what I mean.

For years now I have felt a bit like a people pleaser, not in the brown nosing way. In the way where I hate disappointing people, where I don't like been in people's way and sometimes to the extreme where I would hide certain parts of my personality to fit in. In all honesty now, I am sick of it. I am going to be me, I am going to make me happy and I am not going to try and impress people anymore.

I have reached a point in my life where I have realised that I have done everything because thats what I thought I had to do, what was expected of me. Its lead me to quite a boring existence. I am still in education at 25 and studying something that right now I couldn't give two shits about. I will finish though, I have worked to hard and long for it - it will literally be the only achievement I will have had. When I look back it seems a lot of stuff I have done was pointless. For example I didn't need to do my A Levels - I followed my friends there as I didn't have a plan, I should have gone straight to art college.

My job is another place where I am sick of trying. For some reason I have been labelled lazy - I am not lazy. Yes, I will sometimes take a minute to talk to someone I work with, but my job never suffers and I will help other people with their jobs if they need it. I am always trying to be noticed by people at work but I'm not. They only notice my negatives. I don't want to sound big headed but there isn't many people at my job that can do some of the things I do well. I think from now on I will just go in, do my job and leave - pointless trying to impress someone who doesn't look out for it.

University is another place where I feel like I am not doing it for me. For instance I now know that I am on the wrong course with the wrong career choice. I know now that I won't use my degree to its fullest when I leave. I feel like I am quite a creative person, however there are too many rules that I have to design by - this isn't what I signed up for. I went to uni because I never saw another life for me, it was always in my plan and I never questioned it.

So, from now on I am taking a stand. I am only responsible for my happiness, no one else's. If I don't want to do something then I won't do it. Life is too damn short to be unhappy or trapped. As I type this I am doubting myself as I know I will be in uni tomorrow, which is the last place I want to be. Maybe I will have a change of heart soon, but who cares - its my life. Its my life to screw up, I don't have to answer to anything or anyone.

Forever 21

I turned the grand old age of 25 the other week. I did have a happy birthday, I went out with my friends and got drunk and danced the night away. Although the thought of ageing can bring me to tears quite often. I absolutely hate the idea of getting old. I used to say that 25 was my 'scary age' -it is such a grown up age and the next big birthday I will have is 30. 30!

 I should have had so many more experiences and accomplishments by this age - but alas I don't. I have literally been in education for the last 21 years. I left high school at 16, went to college, then art college and now uni. I finish this year though. I should be happy but I am terrified. I don't know what to do with my adulthood. I have never had a full time job and if I am honest I don't ever want one. I get bored very easily and my attention span lasts for about 20 minutes and then I am gone.

The worst thing about my birthday is that I was always the oldest out of my friends. My birthday is September which is also the the first month of school. I used to like that because it was like I was the first one to experience things; but now I am just the older one. I am 25 and they are 24.

There are certain things that are expected to come with age, we are supposed to grow up and become responsible. No. No. No. As cliché as it sounds, age is just a number. My attitude to anything is not going to drastically change because I have been around the sun a number of times. I still want to have fun, I still want to experience things. I don't want to settle down and have a routine - I am not a 9-5 kind of boy. My biggest fear in life is to look back and have no fond memories of my twenties - lucky for me I am only half way through so I got a bit of time. So if anyone is reading this that I know and you want to go and do something, (money permitting) I will come with you. Getting old is horrible, accepting it is even worse.

I will be 21 forever.

TV Binging - A Serious Condition

I am not well. It started slowly and then developed in to this big thing that has completely taken over my life. I am of course talking about my TV binging. I will lose hours of conciousness at a time, I lose all concept of time and the most common thought in my head is 'Just one more'. It is a sickness, I will happily make no plans for days at a time knowing that I have an entire series of a television show to watch. I won't even eat for hours - as long as I have a can of coke, some cigarettes and my Netflix account details, I might aswell be dead to the world when I am in one of my sessions.

The thing is is that I am not even mad at myself for allowing it to happen. These people at these TV networks are creating art, and who am I to not acknowledge it? I am constantly learning life lessons without having to experience them - for a lazy person such as myself it works pretty well. Netflix has fast become my best friend; they are always recommending new things for me and they are always right. I discovered 'It's Always Funny In Philadelphia' and 'Criminal Minds' through their recommendations. American shows are the best things to binge watch as their seasons are around 22-24 episodes long so you know you got something for a while, its not like a British show where you get 6 episodes and that's your lot. Comedy is probably my favourite thing to binge, quickly followed by drama's and a bit of sci-fi. A new type I am starting to binge are American reality shows - I'm talking about Big Brother and The Amazing Race (I freaking love them).

So right now I am not looking for a cure, I am content. I know for a fact when I go back to Uni and civilisation in a week that I will miss my laptop more than anything. Unfortunately I can watch as much Project Runway as I want, but it won't get me a degree.

My Top Picks for Binge Watching

Orange is the New Black

Always Funny in Philadelphia

Orphan Black

Parks and Recreation

Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Charmed

30 Rock

The Big Bang Theory

American Horror Story

Arrested Development

Criminal Minds

Pretty Little Liars

Grey's Anatomy

Game Of Thrones

Modern Family

Gossip Girl

The Vampire Diaries

True Blood

Glee

New Girl

Girls

Commitment-phobe

I have huge issues with committing to things. I am very indecisive and hate making a final decision. I hate making plans really far in advance as it sits with me and gives me more time to come up with an excuse not to go - I have killed off non existent relatives to get out of things, it gets that bad. It's not because I am lazy or unsociable but it just seems that doing nothing alone is a better option. Below I will list some of the bane's of my life.

Brushing My Teeth
First of all I brush my teeth every day and have quite good oral hygiene - infact my dentist said that my major problem is that I brush too hard (so suck on that you judgy people). My issue is brushing my teeth at night. I don't want to make the commitment to not eating after a certain point. I eat very late at night more than any other time of the day, so brushing my teeth is like the cut off point - and I am never ready to commit to that.

Booking Train Tickets
I hate sorting out travel arrangements in advance. Most people do as it is the smart option and I even hear that you can save money by doing it before time. This has not changed my ways. I will pay for my ticket at the station. I hate been tied to a particular time or a particular train - I will get there in my own sweet damn time.

Buying Clothes
I have to go clothes shopping alone as I know for sure I would piss off the people I am with. In a shop I will at least walk around it twice before I even touch a garment, then when I find something I like I will examine it. I will look at the seams, the fastenings and the quality of the material. This is because I know I wear clothes to death and I need to know it is a commitment that I can be comfortable with.

Ordering Food
Why people go out to eat with me I don't know, there will always come a moment where I will start to panic. There are too many options in a restaurant and I never know what I want and almost always I will regret it. Food is a big deal for me - I love it - and when there are multiple choices I will start to freak because I don't want to make the wrong one. I really wouldn't mind if restaurants only served one dish.

Making Plans
Once again I hate planning in advance. I like to be asked to go somewhere moments before it is due to happen. I hate knowing I have to be ready for a certain time. There is nothing better than the feeling of someone cancelling plans. The relief can overwhelm you. I will rarely cancel plans, I will more than likely just show up late.

Going To The Gym
For me just been a member of the gym is enough for me, makes me feel instantly fitter. Going is another issue. I can not commit to putting myself through pain a couple of times a week. Also it could get in the way of my TV binging. I want to get fit and healthy and as soon as someone comes up with a pain free way that I could either do in my sleep or sitting down, I don't see it happening.

The VMA's Restyled By Me

To say the least I was disappointed by the fashion on the red carpet at this years MTV VMA's. It was boring or weird. There was no happy middle ground. If I had to pick some of the best dressed it would be Katy Perry, Ciara and Ellie Goulding. I respected Rita Ora's choice because she chose to go with a bang - nothing says bang like a 20 foot feathered train. 

When it comes to some of these events there are certain people we look out for; these are the fashionable, edgy, cool, classy girls who pull something out of the bag. They may not shock us but they let us know that they are fashion aware and know how to dress. I was hugely disappointed with Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez, Lady Gaga, Rihanna and Miley Cyrus.

Miley Cyrus
What she wore - Dolce and Gabanna
What I would have put her in - Chanel Fall Couture 2013

She is trying too hard here to bring the 90's trend back. It's over the top whilst still being simple. I have a thing against leggings - don't like them and I never will. Pairing them up with oversized gems just angers me. Her hair looks stupid and I am a huge supporter of her new shorter do - but what the hell are those small buns all about? They only looked good on Scary Spice.
I put her in a silver dress from Chanel. I picked this because it keeps her looking youthful aswell as having a bit of a 90's throwback with the smaller skirt over the longer skirt. The length would be perfect on her and allow her to play with footwear - I would consider a shocking pink platform pump. Her shorter hair would also go flawlessly with this look, but instead of buns I would scrape it all back and add some volume on top.

Selena Gomez
What she wore - Atelier Versace
What I would have put her in -  Dior Fall Couture 2013

Lets all remember she is only 21. These are the perfect years to have fun and experiment fashion wise. It looks like she pulled this out of an ageing american soap-star's closet. It's tacky even for a 40 year old woman. I appreciate the playfulness of it with the revealing of undergarments, but there is no shape to it; where is her waist? It's so blah that even a revealed breast doesn't help it. Also full length sleeves should only be worn by women ashamed of their upper arms - I doubt she has this problem.
I put her in this cute Dior dress. The colour is a much more fun and a youthful blue than the one she chose. It's a bit risqué with the slit down the front of the middle of the dress, but it doesn't cross the line into trashy. The length is great for her as she doesn't have the longest of legs, so having it end above the knee will definitely create length. I am also in love with the material manipulation which gives the dress a seamless appearance.

Lady Gaga
What she wore -  Prabal Gurung
What I would have put her in - Giambattista Valli Spring Couture 2013

This dress she chose was so lacklustre, there is nothing special about it and the material is way too shiny that all I see is trash bags. Its like an unconventional materials challenge on 'Project Runway' gone wrong. It looks badly made and the bow is just sad. For a woman who loves to push boundaries she just looks boring.
The dress I chose isn't that different to her choice. Its black, has a fishnet material and isn't too out there. I feel my choice just speaks better for Gaga. Its fun and unconventional whilst being fashionable and edgy. Also I deliberately chose to give her blonde/white hair as it just stands out more and completes the look - she doesn't look so much like Helena Bonham Carter's weird little sister anymore.

Taylor Swift
What she wore - Hervé Léger by Max Azria
What I would have put her in - Ellie Saab Fall Couture 2013

One word for the dress she chose was 'blah' - my god it is so boring, We all know Taylor is loaded so she could have bought any dress she wanted. In recent years she has made some great choices (see the Grammy's this year) but what happened? She has gone for a column dress which are normally reserved for a shorter gal as they give length - Taylor does not need added height. It completely leaves her shapeless and it is so boring. Paired with the hair she looks 20 years older easily - never mind being 22 try 42.
The dress I chose isn't out there because at the end of the day she needs to be comfortable. I chose this emerald green Ellie Saab dress as I think it is very her (especially in the direction she should be going in). Its classy with an added something. The added something is a bit of sparkle but not in a trashy way. The sheerness will keep the youthfulness whilst the 3/4 length sleeve and full length keeps it respectable. This dress has a dropped back so we will see a gorgeous back and profile.

Rihanna
What she wore - Muscle shirt with a picture of MC Lyte and skinny cropped jeans.
What I would have put her in - Bouchra Jarrar Fall Couture 2013

I'm stuck with this one; on one hand I applaud her for choosing to keep it cool and comfortable, on the other hand I really think she could have at least tried. She was obviously in a mood where she didn't give a shit and just came to watch the show, collect her cheque and get gone. She did however provide the best entertainment from the show with her amazing unimpressed expressions.
To keep with her easy laid back style I chose this complete look from Bouchra Jarrar. I decided to keep her in trousers as she has legs for days so she always look amazing in them, I chose a cropped top because she has the abs I would kill for and then a baggy layer on top to keep the street look she has perfected. However from this look I would get rid of the belt - its overkill.

P.S excuse the shocking photoshop-ing, its late and I really wanted to do this post.

I am worth it, God-damn it!

I am not mad at women, I am just incredibly jealous. A woman can decide what her face looks like first thing in the morning, where as I am stuck with what The Good Lord blessed/cursed me with everyday. I am of course talking about make-up. Women can hide any blemish, skin colour variation and even spots with a dab of make-up - I cannot. I don't understand the double standard. Why can't men wear make-up in everyday society? If I was to go out and someone noticed that I had a full face of make-up; the ridicule I would face would hurt.

I am not saying that I want to wear coloured eye-shadows, thick eye-liner or a killer red lip. I just want concealer for men to be a thing. Make me look naturally blemish free. Is that too much to ask for? God has tested me by giving me patchy skin -  parts that are red and others that are pale white; they don't blend together and having rosy red cheeks at 24 isn't cute. I will admit that I have worn foundation before on nights out. It give me a little more confidence because I knew that I was photo ready - as drunk as I was I knew that my skin looked amazing. When I say photo ready I mean that my skin was one less thing to worry about - hair and body issues were still very prominent.

So women I tip my hat to you. You have the confidence to put something on your face and go out in to the world. Some may go overboard and some may not be sure what colours suit them - but at the end of the day you have done something that shows the world a little bit more of your personality. 'Maybelline' and 'L'oreal' get you shit together and get on that man make-up - I'm telling ya, put a sports star on it and you will make a shed load. I would like a cut of profits as this is my own money making scheme idea; because I am worth it, God damn it.

#TeamApplause Vs. #TeamRoar

As a huge fan of pop music it was hard to ignore the battle that raged between Little Monsters and Katy Kats. Both Katy Perry and Lady Gaga's comeback singles were leaked on the same week. Lady Gaga introduced us to 'Applause' her first single from her new album 'ArtPop' and Katy Perry introduced us to 'Roar' her first single from her new album 'Prism'. Whilst no harsh words were exchanged between the two stars, instead opting to acknowledge their joint frustration with hackers, there has been huge competition between fans and it has widely been reported by media. Unfortunately for the Little Monster's of the world, the Katy Kat's came out in force and took the cherished higher position (neither one beating 'Blurred Lines' by Robin Thicke). To date 'Roar' has sold 557,000 copies in America and 'Applause' has sold a very respectable 218,000 units.

So as a fan I thought I would quickly review the singles and give my very 'important' opinion.

'Applause' - Lady Gaga

I have to admit I wasn't in love at the first listen. After all the build up for 'ArtPop' I was expecting a more artistic and alternative song to be debuted. Of course it is different to past hits like 'Bad Romance' and 'Poker Face' but it doesn't show a big detachment. There is an electro-dance beat that will keep the club lovers happy. This song will be very easy to dance to, as an amateur shape maker I could imagine myself getting down with my bad self with this song. However, for an artist so set on pushing boundaries she has come out with quite a generic pop song. A lot of the lyrics also don't make sense - almost as if she took influence from David Bowie's 'cut-up technique' in which he cut up a newspaper and picked his lyrics from that.
After listening to it more I am starting to love it. It seems to be quite a personal song and definitely says something that other people wouldn't say 'I live for the applause'. It is a statement a celebrity would not say as they don't want to appear shallow - Gaga doesn't care. I am looking forward to her album, if it follows this song then we can expect a great dance album, and at the end of the day music is supposed to move you, physically or emotionally.

'Roar' - Katy Perry

When I first heard this song I was one of those people - isn't this 'Brave' by Sara Bareilles? The theme and the sound are uncanny. I am going to trust that it wasn't plagiarism and just a weird coincidence. Sara can't be too angry as the comparison has seen an 80% rise in sales for her single in the past week. Anyway back to the review, I am a sucker for an anthem that promotes being proud of who you are and being strong. I really like this song - a whole lot. Katy's vocals are great. This song is definitely personal as it is highlighting her moving on from quite a lot of personal turmoil. However, we can all relate to it. We all have had our shit and we need a good song to remind us that we can still be a champion.
Just like for Gaga, I was expecting a detachment from the type of music we were already used to. All the promotion for 'Prism' seemed to show a darker and more deeper Perry. But why fix something that isn't broken? She broke records with 'Teenage Dream' and she has a fan base she know she can please. If I hear this song when I am out and about (and drunk) I will for sure be fist pumping along, screaming the lyrics with pride.

Conclusion

I like both songs. They are crowd pleasing and catchy. I for one will most definitely know all the lyrics to both of them whether its voluntary or not. They both give us a glimpse into what could be a couple of great albums. If I had to pick one I would have to pick Perry. It's just more my kind of taste, this isn't a loss for Gaga as I am yet to purchase either single (and I can't see me buying either).

Rules To Follow When Entering A Fast Food Restaurant

Having previously worked in a popular Fast Food Restaurant I feel that I am qualified to share some certain things that would make both the customer and the server have a more enjoyable day.

1. If you are in line for some time, please know what you want by the time you get to the front. 
Nothing annoyed me more then when I had a huge line behind a customer who didn't know what they wanted. They were stood in line for at least 5 minutes - what else were they thinking about!?

2. Don't be surprised by the price.
Every single thing was on a menu above my head! When it comes for me to tell you the price don't be shocked and don't ask me to break down all the individual prices.

3. If the toilet is locked the toilet is locked.
The toilet is usually locked for a reason. We weren't trying to be mean. If the restaurant is take-away only then we were not legally obliged to have a toilet.

4. There is a bin right by the door, use it.
This is not a high class restaurant. Everything you have is able to be thrown away. We didn't always have people on the seating area to clean so do the restaurant a favour and put your stuff in the bin.

5. Every joke has already been said.
I used to work in a popular sandwich shop, you wouldn't believe how many times I heard a 12 inch dick joke. Wasn't funny the first time or the 100+ times after. Just order your food, be pleasant and leave.

6. You be polite to the server, guaranteed you will get better service
Server's deserve respect, they are no lesser a person than you. They are doing a thankless job for minimum wage which I am sure most people can't and won't do. So respect them, don't piss off the person who is touching your food.

So, follow these simple rules and you will get better service. The people who are serving fast food more than likely hate their job (I know I did) and all they want to do is finish their shift whilst doing a good job. Make it easier for them by just being a decent person. Simple.

I Hate Hair!

Too long. Too short. Too wavy. Too curly. Too straight. Too greasy. Too dry. Too flat. Too bouncy. These are all sentences to describe hair. No one is 100% happy with their hair. Hair is nothing but an annoying part of life. I imagine a world one day where everyone is bald; there will be no pressure to get your hair right in the morning - bathing time would be cut in half, we would save money on hair products as they would no longer exist and we could save hundreds on electric bills from not needing hair-dryers/straighteners/curlers.

As I am getting older my hair is getting worse. There is increasingly becoming less of it - I fear I reached my hair peak when I was a teenager, and I wasted that opportunity by insisting on having a male version of a bob. I am bitter when I see people with nice hair and a great hairline. If I could wear a wig or get a nice weave I would but I feel it won't work and would be incredibly obvious.

I know we have hair for all types of reasons. Hair used to be a whole lot more purposeful than body ornamentation. Sure, we realize that it protects us from the sun. Our eyelashes act as defence against bugs, dust and other foreign particles. But back in the day, the hair covering our nether regions camouflaged our reproductive parts from threats. By lining our armpits and groins, our dry hair actually lubricates our arms and legs, so we can move about without chafing. I just feel in this day and age with the technology we have it isn't necessary any more.

There is is too much stress when it comes to hair. I hope we evolve and all the Craigs to come won't have the same awkwardness as me. I am constantly touching my hair, checking it in the mirror and always worrying when I feel a gust of wind that my fringe doesn't look the same as I planned. For us it is too late, we have this burden we have to struggle with so for now I will just deal with it. 

When I Grow Up ...

So the other day at a job interview I was asked 'What is your long term plan?' I literally did not have an answer, word vomit happened and I found myself saying 'It used to be that I wanted to be the next Beyonce'. I was mortified, it felt like I was having an out of body experience and I wanted to smack the crap out of myself. There were a few flaws to the Beyonce Plan - not having any measurable talent is probably the main reason it never happened. Without saying its obvious I won't get the job at the supermarket.

Then I got to thinking, why was that a stupid answer? Why not dream big and aim high, if people didn't then we wouldn't have the likes of Beyonce to compare ourselves to. Also it got me thinking - I DON'T HAVE A LONG TERM PLAN! I finish university next year, then what? Should I ask for more hours at the restaurant I work in? This isn't the dream I had when I was a child. Should I bite the bullet and move to the big city and see where life takes me? This seems like the best option, however I don't want to go alone and what if it doesn't work out?

I had a quite a few different dreams as a youngster and I haven't really followed any of them. Here were the pro's and con's of those choices (the con's seemed to win every time)

Teacher (Illustrated by Cameron Diaz in Bad Teacher)
Pro - Summer holidays, I get to inspire people and I pretty much know what kids between 4 and 11 need to know.
Con - I don't like children and I am pretty sure they hate me - I don't have a child friendly face.

Artist (Illustrated by Andy Warhol
Pro - A life of creativity, no one to answer to and I would get to show the world what is inside my head
Con - I am not very creative and I normally hate every thing I do. Also you don't get famous until you die!

Reality TV Star (Illustrated by Kim Kardashian)
Pro - No talent required, do what you want to do and get paid for it.
Con - I am no where near interesting to fill an hour of TV a week.

Actor (Illustrated by Johnny Depp)
Pro - Travel the world and act out people's stories.
Con - I think the only role I would be suitable for is weird looking friend/homeless man

Triple Threat (Illustrated by Zac Efron)
Pro - Get to be in musicals, drama's, dance things and sell records.
Con - I can't act, sing or dance.

Fashion Magazine Editor (Illustrated by Anna Wintour)
Pro - Front row seats to fashions shows and respect in the fashion community
Con - I couldn't sit near Anna or Grace Coddington without hating myself for my appearance and clothes selection.

TV Presenter (Illustrated by Davina McCall)
Pro - Looks like fun and you get to be the face of huge TV shows
Con - I can't always talk correct English in front of a crowd - prone to sweating under pressure aswell. Not cute.

Singer (Illustrated by The Queen Bey)
Pro - Travel the world and sing infront of millions of people who love you.
Con - Only I think I can sing.

Fashion Designer (Illustrated by Vivienne Westwood)
Pro - Get to create beautiful designs and have people buy them.
Con - There is so much more to fashion design - I am studying it, its a turn off.

So those were my options and I kind of scared myself out of all of them. So I am 24 and I don't really know what to do with my life. Its both scary and exciting at the same time. I have literally no responsibilities so I can go anywhere - thing is I don't know where I want to go. Help.

Wanderlust

I suffer from an extreme case of Wanderlust. There is no known cure; it is something I have to live with. It is a strong and irresistible impulse or desire to travel the world. I am not crazy, I don't want to go anywhere dangerous - I am not equipped to deal with life threatening circumstances. If someone was to threaten my life I would probably piss my self and run into a wall. However, I want to see what this world has to offer. I have only seen such a small part of it and it makes me sad that I am missing out. I have a list of some of the places I want to go to - badly ... as soon as possible. I feel that in life true wealth comes from experience not monetary gain. Again I am not stupid; I am well aware money makes you happy - but I would happily spend all of mine on travel. So, some of the places ...

New York
I have already been once, it was amazing and any other synonym for amazing. The only let down was the heat, if you know me or even seen me then you will know I don't cope in heat. It's disgusting. We were there for 7 days and I don't think we even experienced 10% of what the city had to offer; and we were out all day everyday.

Tokyo
Just looking at photos and movies of this place make me desperate to see it. It is absolutely stunning, a mix of old and new. I really want to go to the Harajuku district and see all the amazing fashion styles it inhabits. Plus I love sushi so I wouldn't go hungry.

Sydney
Many reasons to want to visit. I love the accent. I want to see the Opera House in real life. I want to see my favourite group perform in their home country. It is such a beautiful place and having watched Neighbours and Home and Away through out all my childhood it almost seems like I have to go.

Barcelona
Allow me to geek out for a second, the architecture! I watched an episode of America's Next Top Model and they did a runway through Park Güell (also they danced through it in 'Cheetah Girls 2') and I knew I had to see it for myself. It is so stunning and designed amazingly by Antoni Gaudí .

Rome
Another movie may have influenced this decision. I could try and sound cultured and say it was 'A Roman Holiday' or even 'Gladiator' but it wasn't; it was 'The Lizzie McGuire Movie'. Ever since I saw that film I knew I had to go and throw a penny into the Trevi Fountain (and maybe magically become an international popstar).

Northern Lights
I have to see this before I die, I don't mean to sound dramatic but I want to see this with my own bespectacled eyes! I think I may have to go to Iceland or Norway to experience it, but God willing I will see it. I am sure there is a scientific explanation, but to me it looks like magic.

Amsterdam
Think all you want that the reason I want to go is for weed and prostitutes, but hold your horses - they aren't the only reasons (gosh I am funny). I read 'The Fault In Our Stars' by John Green and it made me fall in love with a city I never really gave a second thought to. I want to retrace Hazel's footsteps and see it all.

Hollywood
As a lover of the silver screen I feel I need to go. I need to see the locations of my favourite films and TV shows. I need to see where my 'idols' live, eat, drink and walk their dogs. I love everything Hollywood and I always will. It's literally where dreams are realised and put onto a screen, made to inspire the next big dreams.

Also a quick note to one film location I want to go to - (500) Days of Summer location: Tom’s favourite place: the bench at Angel’s Knoll, overlooking downtown Los Angeles. I want to sit there with my own Tom or Summer, I wouldn't even mind sitting there alone (aslong as someone takes my picture).

So these are just a few places I want to see. And I know one day I will, only one question really ... are you coming with me?

Depression - In My Words

First of all I should say that I am not depressed, but I am around it a lot. I am not going to name anyone I know. If someone suffers from this then it is their choice to tell people. It is a big part of their life and it is none of my business unless they want to make it my business. The main reason I wanted to do this post is because I feel it is a topic spoken about a lot - but rarely in the right way. I am not saying I have all the answers, this is purely my opinion.

Depression is a mental illness and it is incredibly hard to watch someone suffer from it. They become a shell of the person that they used to be. They lose a lot of their personality and it can seem on some day's that you can't break them out of it. The worst thing I have found out is asking someone what is wrong, they can't explain it. You get the obligatory 'I'm fine' response. I have never realised how much meaning the word 'fine' has. It doesn't mean they are feeling well, happy or the dictionary definition of fine. It can mean the exact opposite and it is a word that covers up a lot of pain, it is a word used instead of a whole book of negative words. They don't want to burden anyone else with their real thoughts.

 A way I have thought of depression is running down an endless corridor in the dark. You can't see the end of it and you can't see a way out but you keep on going further and further. Its heartbreaking to watch. I want to help but there is no way. Making them laugh doesn't stop it, making them talk doesn't stop it and distracting them doesn't stop it. It is a part of them. One thing I have developed a hatred for is people using the word 'depressed' as on off the cuff remark for when they are sad about something. No you are not depressed! Depression is a mental illness, often sparked by an event or even sometimes passed down through a family. It affects the ability to think clearly, to feel anything. No one on earth would choose the nightmare of depression over an averagely turbulent normal life. It’s not an incapacity to cope with day to day living in the modern world. It’s an incapacity to function.

I hear a lot about how depressed people should just 'snap out of it' or 'get over it'. This is possibly the worst thing you could say. You don't think they are trying? You don't think it kills them a little bit more everyday when they have to take a pill just to function in every day life? They see people getting on with things and they crave this. Depression is real. Just because you've never had it doesn't make it imaginary. So if you know someone with depression show some compassion. It is not something they want and they sure don't want attention based on the fact they have a mental illness. Treat them normally when you find out; they are still the same person. Depression sometimes is not just inside it can show in other ways and in some cases deadly. Physical symptoms such as nausea, vomiting, fatigue, chronic pain, diarrhea, insomnia etc. are common symptoms of major depression. 

Yes, we all have our own shit going on - so make sure you get the help you require. Don't judge someone who may be going through something aswell, something more extreme. Don't cast it off as attention seeking because it isn't. I don't want to be dramatic but your negative comment could be the last thing they needed to make an extreme decision ...

Its easy - think before you speak.

Easy To Be Colourblind - a racism rant

Racism is one of the ugliest things about the human race. I personally can't stand it and I have yet to be proven wrong as to why its a good thing. Sorry once again folks its a rant about something I don't agree with or fully understand. I don't get why people should be judged by their skin colour. It wasn't our choice, when in the womb we aren't given a choice as to what colour we come out as.

Judge someone by their actions as an individual not by their race, colour or creed. The true test of a person is how they treat others. There is no chemical in our brain that makes us do what we do - it is a choice. It is scary to think that some people are too afraid to go to some parts of the world or even their own city because of their skin colour, because of the pigment of their skin. It shouldn't be this way. This is our world, we are all members of the human race and we should all treat eachother the same unless someone gives us a reason not to like them. A murderer, a rapist, a paedophile, an animal abuser can have any colour skin. A teacher, a police officer, a fireman, a doctor, a nurse can have any colour skin.

I am one of the lucky ones - I was born in England and I am white so I have never experienced racism. I am not even 100% sure as to what words I should be offended by. Some people I know are racist, there is a tiny sense of segregation in my city and certain races keep themselves to themselves so I am aware of racism quite a lot. IT'S 2013! Why are we keeping ourselves in the past? We don't need to. A person is a person regardless of their heritage.  I am extremely lucky compared to a racist as I have had friends from all walks of life and my life is richer because of it. A racist is a person who is keeping them selves locked away - we can learn so much from 'different' people.

 I used to live with two room-mates, one was of Chinese descent and the other from Uganda; we looked like a Benetton advertisement walking down the street. I didn't even notice their skin colour and they never made a point of mine or their's. My Godmother is Indian - I never even noticed. Its so easy to not be racist, I have been doing it for 24 years and I feel all the better for it. If you want to hate someone have a good reason, don't hate a person's heritage. If you are reading this and feel sometimes you can be racist ask yourself something; has my life benefited by keeping myself segregated from them?

Every race has their bad people but the good people out weigh them 10 fold. We have all types of people defending our country, saving our lives and teaching us. Would you stop someone of a different race from doing these things? No you wouldn't, so why are you happy to judge them any other time? No person is born racist on this earth and it is incredibly hard to find someone who has the exact pigment as you. So when does it end? Will we be one day judging someone for being a concealer/foundation colour darker/lighter than your own? Sounds stupid put this way doesn't it? This is exactly what is happening.

Ellie Goulding's Halcyon - My Review

The plan was to reveal my Top 10 Most Played on my iTunes. There were two major flaws to this plan; 

1. I mostly use Spotify, so the numbers aren't correct anymore

2. When I did look at my Top 10 Most Played Ellie Goulding's Halycon had 8 songs on it.

So, the plan has changed, what I am going to do now is talk about one of my favourite albums of all time. I will talk a little bit about each song. I will warn you now, I am in no way musical expert so you will have to go with me when I make up words for effects.

1. Don't Stay A Word

A great start to the album, they way it builds up really drags you in to the album. 

Favourite lyric 'I'm more alive I've ever been, So now I give you all my sins, I've chosen you, I've chosen you, But don't say a word'

2. My Blood 

A very sad song about her emotions after a break up. Beautifully done and her voice is flawless

Favourite Lyric 'And I'm thrown in the gunfire of empty bullets. And my blood is all I see. As you steal my soul from me'

3. Anything Could Happen

The lead single from the album. The 'I know it's gonna be' bit just floored me. Her voice ...

Favourite Lyric 'I'll give you everything you need But I don't think I need you'

4. Only You

Her voice is the instrument in the background. A sad song about being trapped in a relationship - I think. Love the high pitched singing in the background.

Favourite Lyric 'Only you can be the aching in my heart. My enemy, the only animal I couldn't fight'

5. Halcyon

The album's title track (still not 100% sure how to pronounce it). Another sad song about being trapped in a dead relationship. Some heartbreaking lyrics.

Favourite Lyric 'When it's just us. You show me what it feels like to be lonely. You show me what it feels like to be lost'

6. Figure 8

A song about breaking up with someone but still being in love with them. There's definitely a theme to this album. Once again her voice slays me.

Favourite Lyric 'Still not too old to die young, But lovers hold on to everything, And lovers hold on to anything'

7. Joy

A song about accepting a relationship is over. Beautiful and haunting. One of my favourites from the album.

Favourite Lyric 'I've figured out that joy is not in your arms. I know I'll always ache with an empty heart. I think it's time to run cause I'm seeing stars. I'm seeing stars watch me fall apart'

8. Hanging on

Basically about hanging on to a lost love. Shows off how beautifully she can get her vocal range.

Favourite Lyric 'Touch me and then turn away. And put your hands into the flame. Tell me if you feel this pain. Cause I don't want to be a ball and chain'

9. Explosions

I fell in love with this song instantly. The opera element at the beginning is majestic, coupled with her voice and you have one stunning track.

Favourite Lyric 'Cause it's simple darling, I gave you a warning. Now everything you own is falling from the sky in pieces. So watch them fall with you, in slow motion. I pray that you will find peace of mind. And I'll find you another time. I'll love you, another time'

10. I Know You Care

A haunting, simple and stunning ballad. A song about knowing someone is still there, even if they aren't aren't with you.

Favourite Lyric 'Cause this is how things ought to have been. And I know the worst of it wasn't all that it seemed. Why can't I dream'

11. Atlantis

Once again showcasing her high vocal range. A song (I think) about meeting someone knew after a bad relationship, afraid to love again.

Favourite Lyric 'I'm exhausted with loving. No fight in me- I'm defeated. I know I'm fooled, I can't help it. You make my heart so helpless'

12. Dead In The Water

Another haunting song and absolutely one of my favourites. I love how there is barely any instruments in the beginning. A song about being lost after a relationship has ended.

Favourite Lyric 'I'm there in the water. Still looking for ya. I'm there in the water. Can't you see, can't you see?'

13. I Need Your Love (w/ Calvin Harris)

One of the more up tempo songs. A song about still craving your ex. If this was written with someone in mind then she is being extremely honest and open.

Favorite Lyric 'And I feel so helpless here. Watch my eyes are filled with fear. Tell me do you feel the same.Hold me in your arms again'

14. Hanging On (Full length version with Tinie Tempah)

I am not usually a fan of Tinie's work but I absolutely love his verse on this.

Favourite Lyric 'She broke my heart, I took some Gaviscon'

15. In My City

A song about finding confidence and moving on. Quite a positive song, considering the rest of the album.

Favourite Lyric 'Shoulders ache for wanted wings. My city shakes the fear in me'

16. Ritual

I am not entirely sure what this song is about. My first thought was sex, but that could be my crude imagination. Still, a great song.

Favourite Lyric 'From highway seas and thunder skies. We see our fate, you hear our cries'

17. Without your love

This song definitely seems like a 'fuck you' to her ex. She does say 'Without your love I'm getting somewhere' 33 times

Favourite Lyric  'Without your love I'm getting somewhere'

So, overall I love this album. Its dark and depressing in places, but if you know then you know thats what I like. I have easily listened to this album 50 times and I never get bored of it. Perfect for train journeys, also bath time which I found out. 

I cannot wait for the re-release which is rumoured to have 7 new songs on it. I have already heard 2 of them and I instantly loved them.

One Size Does Not Fit All

The other day I saw an image of Demi Lovato and underneath it read '20 Plus Size Stars'. I honestly thought this was horrendous. By no stretch of the imagination is she plus size. This lead me to think about how we perceive people. The first impression we get of someone is their appearance and we make a quick judgement, we all do it and we can't help it. If someone is obese we instantly think they eat too much and if we see someone who is skinny we think they have an eating disorder. It's a shame but it is human nature to judge someone.

So much pressure is put on people to look good, to look right.We blame society for our body issues - we are society! We did this to ourselves. We celebrate a celebrity when they lose weight. We judge a celebrity when they put on weight. So how are us 'normal' people supposed to compete. We can't all look the same, that's the true beauty of the human race. We all have something different about us. As long as someone is healthy and not putting themselves in danger then who are we to judge?

 95% of people who develop an eating disorder are aged between 12 and 25 (Obesity is also considered an eating disorder in some cases). These are the years our bodies go through some of the biggest changes naturally, so for someone to have to suffer with an eating disorder at the same time ... I can't even imagine the pain they are going through. I am not saying that we if start to ignore the next fad diet or take notice of what celebrity lost weight that things will change, but for a lot of people it will take the pressure off.

For some people appearance is a competition, they have to look the best - but what is the 'best'? Protruding bones? Pumped up muscles? The darkest tan? The whitest teeth? The fuller hair? No one can answer this because we all have our own opinion. What is beautiful to one person is ugly to the next. So my advise to anyone is just do you! If you want to lose weight do it. If you want to get muscular do it. If you want to not give a shit for a bit and eat that cake in front of the TV do it. You only have to answer to you in the end. Beauty doesn't have to be pain. The most beautiful people are the happy ones.

The next time you see someone who is a bit different and maybe struggling with life a little bit, don't judge them. We all have our own shit going on. Life is hard enough without a Bitch commenting on your appearance. If you see that extremely thin girl in the shopping centre don't tell her to 'go eat a burger', for all you know that's all she wants to do but there is something stopping her. If you see that extremely obese man on a park bench don't call him 'fat and lazy', for all you know he is trying his best and is trying to change his life - your comment isn't the 'motivation' that he needs.

I have struggled for a long time with my weight. I was extremely obese my entire childhood and it was hard. P.E was a constant reminder that I couldn't do what other people could. I never even imagined someone having a crush on me - and I was right, they didn't. Instead I got the 'fat' comments from people who were too pathetic to shut up and be nice. I barely had a social life and I lived up to the 'chubby, happy fat guy' stereotype. It was hard though, I am a romantic at heart and times got a bit lonely. Then later through high school and into college I became obsessed with eating disorders. I didn't develop one. Instead I chose to stop taking my diabetic medication as I heard that you lost weight that way. I am paying the price now. Yes, I may have lost a bit of weight (still a lot to go) but now I have given myself more problems. My eye sight has suffered,  I get shooting pains in my feet sometimes and I am always tired. I am a great example of someone that listened too much to what was 'perfect'.

“Hope will never be silent.” Harvey Milk

I am sick to death about hearing about Gay Rights. It is in the news constantly, mentioned in politics all the time and always a discussion that gets people riled up. It shouldn't be this way. A gay person is no different from any Tom, Dick or Harry on the street. A gay person isn't a different race of people that should be torn apart and studied. Its as simple as anything - a gay person is a person.

Who cares who they love? Who cares who they want to spend the rest of their life with? Who cares that children will be exposed to 'gay love'? There is nothing wrong with it. Simply put, it is a person who is in love with another person. Genitals are not an important part of a relationship.

To anyone that is against gay marriage I want you to ask yourself how it will directly affect you? How will it stop you from you living your life? It won't! Yet you are willing to let your opinion become law? You would rather see gay people be alone than happily married? No one is born homophobic, millions of people are born gay - so who should we listen to?

I can understand some people that think being gay is against your religion. That is your faith - do what you do. Gay people don't care about a religion that doesn't care about them - so we wont bombard your church/place of worship with the most fabulous placards about gay rights, so don't bombard our rallies and marches with your opinions.

To any thick narrow minded person that ever said gay is a choice you are an idiot. Would you choose to be a person who is discriminated against on a regular basis? In the media? On the street? Neither would we. A crazy number of people have killed themselves because they are gay. If its a choice then surely they would have just chosen to be straight.

Gay people should be able to adopt aswell. A lot of straight people don't want their babies or for some circumstances aren't able to look after them. Should these babies be put into the system or should they go to a family that wants them - even if its two mums or two dads? Better to have two of one then neither of each.

I can't wait until we look back in horror at these times when we discriminated against people for their sexual orientation. People think we may want to be different - truth is we want to be the same.

So one last thing to say to people against gay people - if you hate us so much then stop giving birth to gay babies!