The WORST 'Friends' Storyline's

Let me start with a quick disclaimer:

I love Friends. It is hands down my favourite TV show of all time!

However, they made 236 episodes so of course there are going to be some moments that didn't shine as well as others, some doozies that didn't measure up to the grade A steak that some episodes were. With a show like Friends though it isn't as if there were bad episodes, just episodes that you can skip, or play as background sound whilst you scroll through Tumblr or pooping, if thats what you like to do.

Lets go and allow the Friend's bashing commence, as much as it hurts my heart.

Joey can't speak french!

In season 10 it seemed that the writers lost their way when it came to Joey, I mean they started with the pointless storyline of Joey and Rachel been a couple and then that was it. They must have been saving all the Joey storylines for the spin off. This storyline just did nothing for the character - we are supposed to believe he is so thick that he can't repeat a noise someone else just made?! It is frustrating, the storyline is only saved by Phoebe telling the casting director that Joey is retarded.

Joey and Rachel as a couple!

As previously mentioned I wasn't happy with the idea of Rachel and Joey becoming a couple, and I don't think you would find many Friends fans that were. It was weird, unnecessary and it could of seriously messed up the dynamics of the show. I loved the storyline of Joey having a crush on Rachel, it showed a much deeper level to the character. Also that storyline was fully rounded out, he had the crush, she didn't feel the same, he had to get over it - it was a great human story that a lot of people could relate to. The story should have ended there.

Monica convinced Chandler was turned on by sharks!

So, Monica walks in on Chandler rewarding himself, she looks at the TV and sees he is watching a shark attack show. Instead of thinking (like most people would) he just turned off porn, she thinks he gets his jollies by watching the deep sea, multi row of teeth, seal eating monsters. What were the writers thinking? Did they not have anything else for that one single stand alone episode? It just made for uncomfortable viewing, and basically we were all as confused as Chandler.

Rachel trying to impress Joshua!

Oh this was just uncomfortable! Why would Rachel Greene ever have to try so hard. Her personality, her style, her face and her haircut (that I still dream of having one day). It was awkward watching her be so desperate. The only saving grace from that episode was her moment with Chandler on the step between the apartments. All in all I still cringe whilst watching her cheer Emily's name. 

Pete wanting to become the Ultimate Fighting Champion!

This relationship started out so sweet, he ate at her restaurant and gave her a cheque for £20,000, she was angry but then they laughed about it and it blossomed into something cute. And then out of nowhere this computer entrepreneur decided he wanted to fight professionally. What? This then showcased him as a shallow, egotistical, narrow minded idiot. I guess the writers wanted a way out of this character going any further but there could have been more organic ways, ones that could honour this relationship - and not just make it a punchline. Wonder if Pete ever made it?

Joey and Kate

This is, hands down, the worst relationship storyline in Friends for me. I dread watching this develop when I binge the show - I can't skip them because there is good moments with other characters in between this monstrosity. Kate was just not likeable at all! Her personality sucked. First she insults Joey because he was a soap star, then she sleeps with him and acts like it was nothing and then she leaves and doesn't even tell him! And she leaves during the middle of the play so he can't even say good bye properly when the stage hand tells him! Eurgh, Bitch!

Monica and the Maid

Another awkward storyline for me to watch. I just didn't understand. The main thing I didn't understand was why Monica and Chandler needed a Maid. This is the same woman who couldn't sleep because someone Ross was dating had a dirty apartment so she went over and offered to clean it. What was this Maid going to clean?! Monica thinks the Maid is stealing from her, first her jeans and then her bra. So of course mayhem ensues and Monica finds her self with her head between her legs and Chandler finds him self asking the Maid to take her top off because Monica is a lesbian. How this woman didn't sue them I don't know.

Rachel and Mrs. Whiskerson

As a lover of Friends, Rachel and cats this may sound completely hypocritical. I hated this little B storyline. It didn't make sense to me to include it in any episode. Rachel never expressed a love for felines, she suddenly had $1000 to spend on a cat and it totally put this beautiful breed of cat in a bad light (ok, I shouldn't take that one so hard but I felt sorry for the little thing - it called a hand and mistaken as a raw chicken!) This episode would have been no better or worse if this storyline wasn't included, it was blah.

The Holiday Armadillo

This one may split fans of Friends. Some love the idea and some don't. I am of the latter. They are telling us in an entire costume store there wasn't anything slightly appropriate for someone to dress up as for Hanukkah? An armadillo? Really? There wasn't really any moments of giggling for me in this episode. I hated the armadillo, then I felt sorry for Ross when Santa Chandler came in, then Superman arrived... I didn't get it.

 Cassie

This was just weird and uncomfortable! Ross' sexual attraction to his cousin was insane, Ross trying to justify incest made me fold whilst wincing with second hand awkwardness. Denise Richards is a beautiful woman and a talented actress, but this storyline should not have been written let alone filmed. How easy would it have been for Cassie to be a childhood friend or neighbour, same jokes but a hell of a lot less painful.

My Oscar Predictions and Wants

Here it is, it's the big one. The Award show that every one who loves films will watch, anyone in the film industry will watch and anyone wanting to slag off a gorgeous actresses' fashion choice will watch.  It's the 87th Academy Awards! Before I give my opinion I must admit something; I haven't seen all the films I am about to talk about. However, I have seen all the trailers so that's kind of the same thing.

BEST PICTURE

"American Sniper"
"Birdman"
"Boyhood"
"The Grand Budapest Hotel"
"The Imitation Game"
"Selma"
"The Theory of Everything"
"Whiplash"

For me one of the best films of the year has been snubbed. I thought 'Wild' starring Reese Witherspoon was completely ignored. It was a beautiful film, amazing locations, a deep emotional story and outstanding performances. Anyway, the winner of this category has to be 'The Grand Budapest Hotel' - it was absolutely stunning. It made me laugh, made me emotional and my days the cinematography was unmatched. I also wouldn't be mad if 'Boyhood' won, if we want to award a film then we have to take in consideration the process it took. This film took 12 years to create after the genius idea of using the same actors throughout the years was thought up.  Instead of these different places of time having to be created for the screen, the director used the actual time.

BEST ACTOR

Steve Carrell, "Foxcatcher"
Bradley Cooper, "American Sniper"
Benedict Cumberbatch, "The Imitation Game"
Michael Keaton, "Birdman"
Eddie Redmayne, "The Theory of Everything"

I have to give it to Eddie Redmayne for this one, in what could be described as a boring film with an unlikeable list of characters he shone! His transformation into Prof. Stephen Hawking was exceptional, I have to admit I got lost in the character, I didn't see Eddie anymore and guess that was the point, so job well done there. He is going to be a legendary British actor in years to come, I can see it now - plus that face is a bit oosh! I talked about 'Wild' been snubbed before so I might carry on the trend. A couple of actors who I believe were snubbed are Andy Serkis and Toby Kebbell for their work on 'Dawn of the Planet of the Apes'. Stay with me here, I know they played almost non speaking apes but they were amazing! Think about it, they played apes to the point that it was hard to even consider that apes weren't used. I know it was heavily reliant on CGI but at the end of the day it was Serkis and Kebbell doing the work, the computers added fur and an ape face to it. The Academy has to start recognising these types of acting as worthy of an award.

BEST ACTRESS

Marion Cotillard, "Two Days, One Night"
Felicity Jones, "The Theory of Everything"
Julianne Moore, "Still Alice"
Rosamund Pike, "Gone Girl"
Reese Witherspoon, "Wild"

I think we all know Julianne Moore will win this, I mean she should start looking for a safe route towards the stage and have a speech prepared now - with none of this 'I wasn't expecting this' crap. She is an outstanding actress and someone I hope to be as I grow up. Anyway, I don't think we should discredit Reese Witherspoon quite so fast. In my opinion she gave one of the best performances of the year and as an actress she really pushed herself. It was her alone on the screen most of the time, telling this amazing story of growth and escape. Plus I have only seen the trailer to 'Cake', and I absolutely love all the attention it has brought to Jennifer Aniston but it would have been lovely for her to get a nod. As the Millennial Generation it would be great to see the star of one of the shows that made my childhood finally be recognised for something other than Rachel Greene.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Robert Duvall, "The Judge"
Edward Norton, "Birdman"
Ethan Hawke, "Boyhood"
Mark Ruffalo, "Foxcatcher"
J.K. Simmons, "Whiplash"

Having only seen one of these films I can only give the award to Ethan Hawke, and it is completely deserved; he dedicated 12 years to this film playing the same character. He was believable as the father of 3 who loves his kids and just wants them to be great. I do however feel like Tony Revolori as 'Zero' from 'The Grand Budapest Hotel' was snubbed. As a newcomer in a star studded cast he really shined, his dry approach to the role shouldn't be taken for granted, he made this character great, loveable and the perfect sidekick to Ralph Fiennes.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Patricia Arquette, "Boyhood"
Laura Dern, "Wild"
Keira Knightley, "The Imitation Game"
Emma Stone, "Birdman"
Meryl Streep, "Into the Woods"

This is like Sophie's choice (get it? Meryl won the Best Actress award for that character. I'm hilarious). I have love for all these women. They are all titans of the field. I have reasons why all these actresses should win.
Patricia - Amazingly cast as the mother of two, struggling with bad relationships, bettering herself through education and showing us how great an actress she truly is.
Laura - what isn't to love? I think this character almost mirrors who she really is. She is loveable, kind, warm human being.
Keira - British pride once again, loved her from 'Bend it like Beckham' all the way to today, she will be a gracious winner. However she is preggers so she already has her prize this year.
Emma - I yelped like a girl when I found out she was nominated. Why she wasn't nominated for 'Easy A' I will never know. Love this girl.
Meryl - One more for the cabinet it seems. When isn't she nominated? She could take a year off, make a Vine video and be nominated for Best Actress, Best Director, Best Cinematography and Best Make-up and Costume. This woman is a gift to the entertainment world.
All this been said, I think it is Patricia's year. And well deserved it would be.

So those are the main awards that we will all be talking about and my opinions. I am almost always wrong when it comes to these awards, but if every other award show tells us anything we can pretty much guess who will win.

Here are some other winners I would love to see this evening.

BEST DIRECTOR

Wes Anderson, "The Grand Budapest Hotel"

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

Richard Linklater, "Boyhood"

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY

Robert Yeoman, "The Grand Budapest Hotel"

BEST FILM EDITING

Sandra Adair, "Boyhood"

BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN

Adam Stockhausen (Production Design) and Anna Pinnock (Set Decoration), "The Grand Budapest Hotel"

BEST COSTUME DESIGN

Milena Canonero, "The Grand Budapest Hotel"

BEST ORIGINAL SONG

"I'm Not Gonna Miss You," by Glen Campbell, "Glenn Campbell: I'll Be Me"

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS

Paul Franklin, Andrew Lockley, Ian Hunter and Scott Fisher, "Interstellar"

10 Ways To Get Over A Crush

After my time on this planet I have learnt a few things. One of them been how to get over a crush. I find it a very good skill to have as I have fallen victim to the crush monster one or two (hundred) times. Some have been major and life consuming, and some have been a bit meh. A crush is a weird thing, its a pain that you don't mind having so much, you suffer but sometimes it is nice to know that you have this emotion. You have the ability to like someone on such a level that you convince yourself that you are ready for a commitment, and you are ready for someone to know every nook and cranny of you. So after all these times and occasions I have formed a short list of things you can do to get over a crush - lets go.

1. Tell your friends your emotions. Sharing is caring in this case. It may be hard to admit this truth because it can be very revealing of you, but I can guarantee that your friend will make you feel better - because they will no doubt tell you how good you are and awful your crush is. Winner.

2. Cry. Let it out and let it go. Crying is a great thing, its like you get to flush everything out in one big go - a colonic for the soul if you will.

3. Go outside. A distraction can do you the world of good. Go do something different and meet different people, you never know you may meet your next crush - or lover if you're lucky.

4. Look at yourself. You aren't a bad person but you can take this time to re-evaluate yourself. Why didn't your crush like you? Time for a bit of tough love. This could do you a lot of good though, improve yourself on the outside and feel better on the inside.

5. Watch a romantic movie. This could sound like torture, but it doesn't have to be. In a lot of romantic films you see a lot of ups and downs in a person's love life - now place yourself in the movie, you are only half way through you're story. Your happy ending hasn't happened yet, but if Julia Roberts/Sandra Bullock/Jennifer Aniston/Reese Witherspoon/Katherine Heigl have taught me anything, it's coming.

6. Listen to sad music. Personally I find depressing music the best type of music, and in times when having to get over crushes it can become a crutch. It is nice to know that someone has been going through the same thing - and they put it to a nice melody and make it rhyme. Plus getting to mime your pain in a mirror whilst imagining you're Taylor Swift never hurt anyone.

7. Find their flaws. This might sound cruel, but for so long you have been focused on their best features. It can be therapeutic to notice the things about them that ain't so pretty.

8. Out of sight, out of mind. If it is too bad a reminder of what you don't have every time you see them, then get away. Step aside, leave the room, get on a bus. It isn't going to do your confidence any good when you have to remind yourself that you don't have what you want.

9. Be aware of a relapse. Getting over a crush can take a long long time, it is hard work and sometimes you may find that you slip. You catch a glimpse and you just melt, they say hello and you want to grab them or their name pops up on your phone and a smile comes across your face that rivals the cheshire cat. This is okay. We aren't perfect.

10. Admit defeat. Maybe they are with someone else or a thousand miles away, it is time for you to move on, wipe the tear off your face, shake your hair in to messy yet stylish style and walk on with the pride of Beyonce. However don't confuse this defeat with failure. The fact that you aren't with the person you want has nothing to do with your own self worth. Some things are beyond your control.

I hope these 10 steps help someone, a crush can be soul destroying and really knock your self confidence - but they don't have to. Letting go and moving on is a process, it won't happen over night and you will relapse - this isn't failure, this is all part of it. So go on and go forth, don't let your crush end you. There is someone out there that will crush on you.

My Name is Craig and I am obsessed with Photoshop!

Some people enjoy fishing, working on cars or even horse riding, but not me. We all have our hobbies and we shouldn't be judged for them. My greatest time killer of late is Photoshop. I love it. I like to think of myself of as a creative person but stuff like painting, drawing and watercolours don't attract me - there is no undo button. I am not a perfectionist, I just make a lot of mistakes so an undo is a god send. Also its a lot less messy and a lot less materials are needed. 

My favourite things that I like to create are things for promotion. Album covers, advertisements and film posters are my forte. Let me give you a run down of what I have done above.

Fuck Love

Just a little fake movie I created starring Emma Stone, Jennifer Lawrence and Jennifer Aniston (a trio we all know we want to see). Yeah, its out on Valentines Day, don't read too much in to it.

Little Mix - 3

Little Mix have announced they are writing for their 3rd album. So stealing inspiration from the name of Beyonce's 4th album (4), I called it 3. I also went with a more grown up photo shoot and played around with sizes.

Neon Jungle - Welcome to the Jungle Tour

I tried to keep this one looking cool and effortless just like them. Inspired a little by the 'Braveheart' video with the colouring. 

Craig Magazine

I haven't created a magazine cover since AS Level Media Studies, so I thought I would have another crack at it. Taking a lot of inspiration from Company Magazine. I just love their aesthetic and there isn't anyone rivalling them in their layout and artwork in my opinion.

Olsen Hair Dye

When I created Craig Magazine I wanted to add some authenticity so I created some advertisements. I chose to use the Olsen twins as I have the biggest love for them, I changed their hair colour and added the tag line 'Be Your Own Kind Of Beautiful'. I really like this message as they are twins, but this doesn't mean they have to be the same.

Looking for Alaska
I chose to do this movie poster as it is one of my favourite John Green book's. This is also my dream cast for the film, and if you have read the book then you will agree it works.

Topshop
I created this advertisement for my own little magazine again. I chose quite a simple layout so it is the clothes you look at and not my skills on photoshop.

I have done a lot of work on Photoshop, a lot of it can be seen on the 'My Work' page. Link Here. Also below I will put bigger images of the 7 images above if you want a bigger look.

If you want to see more of work then just look at the images on every post on this blog. I created them all myself aswell.

Friends Reunited

I have said it before and I will say it again; Friends is one of the best TV shows ever made, ever. I watch it almost every single day (I just finished season 10 so I am taking a Will & Grace break right now). The show ended on May 4th 2004, thats almost 10 years for those who are counting. I think we are due a mini reunion, a crazy kick-ass feature length reunion. These characters were big parts of people's lives and I think it would be nice for the writers to get together and tell us what the hell the gang are upto. 

The way we left it was that Rachel got off the plane and got back together with Ross, Chandler and Monica welcomed a set of twins into the Bing dynasty, Phoebe was married to Mike and wanting to start a family and Joey .... was there. (I know in the spin off he went off to Hollywood, but we don't talk about that). So, as I am sure many Friends fans have, I have fantasised what they could be upto - I even wrote a little synopsis for an episode/movie if you will. So lets go ...

Date - Thanksgiving 2013
Location - Monica and Chandler's House

Monica and Chandler
Still very happily married and Monica has thrived in her role as a mother. Her daughter Erica has blossomed into a mini-Monica and Jack has turned into a Joey replacement for Chandler. Through the stress of being a full time Mum, Monica has piled the weight on again and once again become my favourite type of Monica (fat Monica). Still very much in charge of cooking dinner for everyone and their families. Chandler is the 'cool Dad' and lets the kids get away with everything.

Rachel and Ross
Hurrah, they made it and they are together! Emma is now 11 years old and she has a little brother (Darwin). Rachel is still unfulfilled by her job and still wonders what would of happened if she took her big break in France. Ross is oblivious as he now has exactly what he wanted since he was 19. They still haven't got married, as they have both had had failed relationships before (potential heart warming moment as they decide to get married in Monica and Chandler's garden as all their friends and families are already there), plus Rachel can't find the perfect wedding dress, we all saw her previous effort.

Phoebe and Mike
Still together aswell. Mike is a successful musician and always on tour. Super fertile Phoebe now has a set of triplets all of her own (Phoebo, Mike Jr and Princess Consuela).Phoebe has become what she never thought she would be, a soccer mom. Picking out china patterns and painting her picket white fence are a joy. However it is Phoebe so she still has her freak inside of her and still regales in telling people about that time a pimp spat in her mouth. 'Smelly Cat' is now her kids lullaby much to their dismay.

Joey
Back from Hollywood with mixed results, he now lives in the room Monica and Chandler set aside for him while he decides what to do. Still an eligible bachelor, still never having found a woman to tame his wild single man ways. Now he wants to grow up so he is looking for Mrs Tribiani. Auditioning for roles in New York and teaching acting he is happy but knows something is missing from his life -  a family of his own.

Possible Storylines

• Janice did get that house next door. Many chances for Janice to 'accidentally' catch Chandler in uncompromising positions. 
• Ross' and Monica's parents bring a lonely Richard over for Thanksgiving dinner.
• Gunther has also moved to the suburbs - has a wife called Rachel.
• David has finally admitted defeat with his science career, he unfortunately delivers pizza to Phoebe's apartment.
• Monica goes to jail after her ex-landlord realises she was illegally sub-letting her apartment for so many years.
• Ross and Monica's routine saves the show at their kids talent show.

There are so many possibilities, don't be afraid to share any ideas - kind of running dry now I am trying to think. Every episode 'Friends' told us they would be there for us - hopefully they keep that promise.