10 Ways To Get Over A Crush

After my time on this planet I have learnt a few things. One of them been how to get over a crush. I find it a very good skill to have as I have fallen victim to the crush monster one or two (hundred) times. Some have been major and life consuming, and some have been a bit meh. A crush is a weird thing, its a pain that you don't mind having so much, you suffer but sometimes it is nice to know that you have this emotion. You have the ability to like someone on such a level that you convince yourself that you are ready for a commitment, and you are ready for someone to know every nook and cranny of you. So after all these times and occasions I have formed a short list of things you can do to get over a crush - lets go.

1. Tell your friends your emotions. Sharing is caring in this case. It may be hard to admit this truth because it can be very revealing of you, but I can guarantee that your friend will make you feel better - because they will no doubt tell you how good you are and awful your crush is. Winner.

2. Cry. Let it out and let it go. Crying is a great thing, its like you get to flush everything out in one big go - a colonic for the soul if you will.

3. Go outside. A distraction can do you the world of good. Go do something different and meet different people, you never know you may meet your next crush - or lover if you're lucky.

4. Look at yourself. You aren't a bad person but you can take this time to re-evaluate yourself. Why didn't your crush like you? Time for a bit of tough love. This could do you a lot of good though, improve yourself on the outside and feel better on the inside.

5. Watch a romantic movie. This could sound like torture, but it doesn't have to be. In a lot of romantic films you see a lot of ups and downs in a person's love life - now place yourself in the movie, you are only half way through you're story. Your happy ending hasn't happened yet, but if Julia Roberts/Sandra Bullock/Jennifer Aniston/Reese Witherspoon/Katherine Heigl have taught me anything, it's coming.

6. Listen to sad music. Personally I find depressing music the best type of music, and in times when having to get over crushes it can become a crutch. It is nice to know that someone has been going through the same thing - and they put it to a nice melody and make it rhyme. Plus getting to mime your pain in a mirror whilst imagining you're Taylor Swift never hurt anyone.

7. Find their flaws. This might sound cruel, but for so long you have been focused on their best features. It can be therapeutic to notice the things about them that ain't so pretty.

8. Out of sight, out of mind. If it is too bad a reminder of what you don't have every time you see them, then get away. Step aside, leave the room, get on a bus. It isn't going to do your confidence any good when you have to remind yourself that you don't have what you want.

9. Be aware of a relapse. Getting over a crush can take a long long time, it is hard work and sometimes you may find that you slip. You catch a glimpse and you just melt, they say hello and you want to grab them or their name pops up on your phone and a smile comes across your face that rivals the cheshire cat. This is okay. We aren't perfect.

10. Admit defeat. Maybe they are with someone else or a thousand miles away, it is time for you to move on, wipe the tear off your face, shake your hair in to messy yet stylish style and walk on with the pride of Beyonce. However don't confuse this defeat with failure. The fact that you aren't with the person you want has nothing to do with your own self worth. Some things are beyond your control.

I hope these 10 steps help someone, a crush can be soul destroying and really knock your self confidence - but they don't have to. Letting go and moving on is a process, it won't happen over night and you will relapse - this isn't failure, this is all part of it. So go on and go forth, don't let your crush end you. There is someone out there that will crush on you.

Craig 'The Green Eyed Monster' Chambers

It's not the most attractive trait for a human to have, but I have it. I believe that 100% of the human race suffers from it. No one can be that secure that they don't suffer from it. I am of course talking about jealousy. We all want what someone else has for the pure reason that we don't have it. There are many different types of jealousy; and I feel like I suffer from them all.

It can be small things that I get jealous of, for instance if I am in a restaurant and I see someone chose a better meal than me and I am left stuck with the same meal I have every time. These are little annoyances that I face everyday of my life. I always seem to make the wrong choice. For example if there are two buses going to the same place, I always and I mean always pick the one that leaves the station second - not because I knew the times, but because fate seems to love to hate me.

I also suffer from major life jealousies. I get 'friend envy' a hell of a lot. This can raise its ugly head in different ways. I get jealous when a friend makes a new friend that I don't know, I get jealous when I see my friends make plans for them (the worst is when you are standing right there and they make plans that don't include you). I think this comes from never been anyone's first choice. Everyone has that one friend that is a bit closer than other friends or they have a boyfriend/girlfriend. I always seem to take a back seat when it comes to that. I am the friend you call when others have cancelled. 

Another jealousy I suffer from (hold on readers, there are a few) is when your crush starts dating someone or gets in a relationship. I have talked about crushes before (link) and it can be any of those. Any crush you have, when they suddenly become happy with someone else it can be soul destroying. This can make you hideously insecure and very unhappy. This is one of those jealousies you can't even do anything about, except just be happy for them. They should be happy. I haven't quite been able to achieve happiness for a crush but I am sure one day I will. Fingers crossed for me.

One major jealousy I have is of rich people. They can buy anything and everything I want. I buy a meal deal from Boots for my lunch, they go to a restaurant. I get the bus, they get their driver to take them places. I sleep in a room the size of a shoebox, their closets are bigger than my house. I always want more than what I have and it sucks, I don't know how to achieve these things, or I just don't want to do the things it takes to get them. 

The moral of the story is that we all get jealous. Its a sucky human attribute. It can be an all consuming and there isn't anything you can do about it. You have to be happy with what you have, but whats wrong with wanting what someone else has? 

'And I know that I'm being hateful but that ain't nothing. That ain't nothing. I'm just jealous. I'm just human. Don't judge me.' Beyonce - Jealous (even Queen Bey gets jealous).

They call it a 'Crush' for a reason

Crushes can be crushing, I guess thats where the name comes from. They can consume every thought and every action you do. Some crushes can almost feel like love - and those are the ones that suck the big one. Some crushes can be harmless and can just be attraction. I have, for many years, been a victim of the crush. I have quite an active imagination, so when the crush starts - so do the plans. I don't mean the plans to trap them in my grip, I mean the plans where you start to imagine doing stuff together.

I have found that there are many types of crushes:

The Celebrity Crush
These are quite harmless (unless you have stalker qualities). You see a famous person who you find attractive, and then you find out more and more about them and you start to like them more and more. You become a fan of everything they do and you will defend them in anything they do. They can't do anything wrong, and if they do it isn't their fault.

The Lust Crush
This can sometimes be someone you know or someone you see quite often. Just seeing them makes you smile and distracts you for a moment. They don't develop any further than looking, no one ever has to know, its your own little secret.

The Sex Crush
This is quite an explicit fantasy crush. You love everything about their appearance and you just dream about one day getting the chance to be with them. They have all the attributes that you find sexually attractive. You do run the risk of not being able to find anyone else as attractive because they don't compare. Also if you finally get the chance to be with them you find out that there is nothing in common; still it could be a good time.

The Friend Crush
These can be fun and no one has to get hurt. They are weird relationships that develop from having a lot in common with someone. You want to talk to them and hang out with them all the time. The crush element comes from the fact that they can consume your thoughts - you want to share everything with them, but you probably not sexually attracted to them. An example of this might be called a 'bromance'.

The Love Crush
This is probably the most damaging type to a person. This is a crush that often sounds belittled when someone calls it 'just a crush' to your face. You believe it is so much more than what it is. You think about them all the time, you think about what you can say to them all the time and everything you do do you want to tell them and share. You imagine a future that may never happen. You might become friends with this person as this is all you feel you will ever achieve - so its best to have them in your life in a small capacity, then to not have them at all.

A warning from a survivor of 'The Love Crush' is that as harsh as it sounds - get over it. You are too into to it that it may even put your crush off you as a person. Be happy for what you can get, distract yourself  by looking elsewhere. It will feel like no one else will ever compare, but I am holding on to the fact that one day there will be someone out there that has the equivalent crush on me as I do them.

The most damaging aspect of a crush is to your self esteem. You will start to question everything about yourself. Am I not attractive enough for them? Am I too fat for them? What are they looking for that I don't have? It can bring you down a lot of the time. Crushes can suck and can hurt. It is a weird emotion, you don't know what to do about it. You can create a brave moment and actually tell the person, and if this person is as great as you think they are it won't be that bad. They will still be your friend, but you will be aware of boundaries.

Just remember the bigger you love, the harder you can fall. A crush may seem to be an uncontrollable emotion but it doesn't have to be. Distract. Distract. Distract. I accepted my crush won't flower into anything, as much as it sucked. Yes, I still think about it but acceptance is your best friend in these moments.

Crazy Crushes - Male Edition

Well earlier on I did my crazy crush's on the ladies, but I am an equal opportunities kind of guy so I thought I would talk about some of the Men that are not in my life. Looking at the image above it may appear I have a type - this isn't a brunette appreciation post, hair pigment is not important to me. So lets analyse it a tad more and I will tell you why these pretty boys made my list.

Russell Brand
Might as well start with the crazy one. I think he is hilarious and I do enjoy a little bit of controversy. However the main reason is that he is extremely intelligent and I like people I can learn from. I am the kind of learner that gets more from someone who is passionate about a topic.

Logan Lerman
He is adorable. He has a smart head on his shoulders. His character in Perks of Being a Wallflower is one of my favourite literary character of all time. Also he has the awkward personality that gets me. And he is going places, he will be huge and I would like to be there from the beginning.

Zac Efron
I don't think there is any person that wouldn't. He can sing, he can dance and he can act - and God knows he looks good doing it. He is a bit too pretty so I'm not sure for my own confidence that I could stand too close to him at social events.

Michael Buble
This is where you will see my middle aged woman personality come out - I love him, and I hate his pregnant wife. I jest, its not hate - its pure jealousy. I enjoy his music, unfortunately I don't own any of it - but what I like the most about him is his personality. I could watch Graham Norton interview him for 45 hours straight and I would be content.

Francisco Lachowski
A very fine looking Brazilian Male Model. Enough said really. Just look at him. I feel like I would faint if he even walked in my direction - wouldn't be cute. David Gandy needs to watch out - there is another cute boy on the block.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt
I love his character in 500 Days of Summer, Mysterious Skin and very much looking forward to his porn addict character in Don Jon. He is very pretty, has a great sense of style and he seems like a gentleman in real life. Plus he has his own production company. Equals up to a great guy in my book.

Shia LaBeouf
I am not sure how to say his name (La Boof?) Its not important though. I knew of him since Even Stevens on Disney but it was Transformers and Disturbia where he got my attention. A very good looking guy with great acting skills - how I even noticed the robots when Shia was on screen with Megan Fox I don't know. He has gone a bit different over the last few years, but his directing skills are great for those music videos he did. Excited for whatever he is doing next - and I wouldn't mind being along for the ride.

Harry Styles
As well as being a middle aged woman, there is a teenage age girl inside of me that gets excited whenever Harry is around. He is a beautiful boy there is no denying and I am a sucker for tattoos. I may have to have it out with him what happened with Taylor Swift, but I'm sure we would get past it and have a beautiful time together.

Johnny Depp
Who doesn't love Johnny? If you claim not to you're only lying to yourself - no one is impressed. He has proved time and time again his acting is top notch. Sometimes a bit freaky, but I know we all gave him a second glance when Jack Sparrow came on the screen - I wanted his hair. He seems like a shy awkward guy in real life - I ain't mad about that, he is too pretty for it to be an issue. We could sit in silence.

P.S David Beckham would have been included in this list, but as I want his wife I decided to let him go. I don't want to steal his wife and break his heart when he realises it was to me. I'm not an animal.