Robin Williams - A Quick Thank You

Two days ago we lost a great man. I don't know how official the cause of his death is but as I believe it was suicide. Many people will struggle with the thought of how someone who appears to have everything could do this to themselves. In our society we view money, fame and face value as been the epitome of happiness. However these things are all fake. These aren't things that make us who we are, these are just things we have or can get. Robin Williams is proof of this. A man that has made millions of people laugh struggled everyday with depression, he made billions at the box office, sold out stand up show after stand up show and without a doubt will forever remind people of the happier moments of their childhood.

So the point of this post is to thank him. Whatever struggles he may have had in his life, it never stopped him. Yes, he had to work like the rest of us to make a living, but he could have done anything. He chose to give himself to the public as an entertainer. And what a hell of an entertainer he was. He made us laugh and cry for all the right reasons, when he wasn't playing a character he was still entertaining us with interviews and appearances. He will go down as one of the greats whether we remember him as an alien called Mork or a Father who dresses as a woman to see his kids and called himself Mrs Doubtfire. We all have a place in our heart for one his characters. Mr Williams was harmless, he never offended anyone publicly. He just beamed happiness and love.

It is absolutely heartbreaking that he wasn't actually happy. He struggled with an illness that is so hard to understand unless you are suffering or around someone suffering. One thing that people need to know is that depression is not a flaw in character, it is a flaw in chemistry. I find it so hard to get my head around the fact that his only choice was to end it all. He didn't see any other way to escape it. I got very emotional at the idea that someone, anyone could think this way.

Once again thank you. Thank you Mr Williams. We are forever in your debt for the years of entertainment, the childhood memories and for creating an escape for us all when we don't want be distracted by real life anymore. I only wish that you are finally at peace. Also even in your last act you are helping people. You have made a taboo subject a part of conversation all around the world. Maybe just maybe because of you, people will seek help and support.

I am gutted that we only have four movies left of his to experience for the first time. However we will always have the memories. Thank you Robin, I sincerely hope you are now at peace.

Why 'The Fault in Our Stars' is important.

Reading a quick description of this book would not give it justice or entice many people to read it. The skeleton of this book is that is a love story, a love story of two teenagers each battling cancer or some variant of the disease. I will give it you, it doesn't sound like a laugh riot of a story; it does have a few laughs in it, the kind of laughs that are heartwarming and helps to push the point that even in our darkest times we can crack a smile. It is a deep, emotional, make-your-eyes-sting-from-crying kind of story. Written by the genius that is John Green, it is a story that touches you and gives you an outlook on life we don't always seek out. The slap in the face realism of teenagers suffering from incurable diseases really makes you think, well it did me. Excuse the lame cliche but life is short. I took a lot away from this book; so below I wrote a few things that I think are important messages from this book.

SPOILER ALERT . SPOILER ALERT . SPOILER ALERT . SPOILER ALERT

Death
John Green isn't afraid to explore the world of death in this story, and why should he be? It is the one certainty of life.  These characters have it forced upon them in the most cruelest way, they have incurable diseases that have a best before date stamped on the side like a bottle of milk. What shocked me the most is the speed in which it happens. Augustus' death was a huge shocker to me, to me he seemed like the healthiest of the bunch, he was getting over his illness and living a normal as normal life he could. Then it took a swift detour of a cliff. He died so suddenly leaving behind a broken hearted Hazel and Isaac. However, because they have had to face the inevitable for so long they take it, they learn from it and they accept it. They aren't by any stretch of the imagination happy about it but they deal and they are grateful for what they get. There is a great quote from the book which had me in tears:

'There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set.I want more numbers than I’m likely to get, and God, I want more for Augustus Waters than he got. But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I’m grateful.' Hazel Grace

Pain
"That's the thing about pain," Augustus said, and then glanced back at me. "It demands to be felt."

I am in love with this quote, it is so real and deep and its something that no one actually wants to accept. However they have had to accept it, it is their truth on a daily basis. And just like death they deal with it. No one should have to live with pain but unfortunately it is a part of life, we have to feel it to know that we feel something. This book explores pain in many different way, it has emotional pain, physical pain and mental pain. The most powerful message I got from the book is that pain is human nature, we have to go through it but it doesn't have to be the be all and end all. There is a time that the pain stops.

Love
I may not be advertising this book very well, especially to people that don't enjoy a depressing read. If you ignore the pain and death there is a timeless love story there. Through unfortunate circumstances these two beautiful people meet. They have an undeniable spark and a banter that just makes them connect. Sadly they do have a strong connection through their similarities.
When you watch them together in the film, or visualise it from the book you don't see the cancer when they are together. I see love, undeniable, gorgeous, youthful love. They each found someone that cares about them that isn't afraid for everyone to know (evident by a kiss in front of a crowd of people at Anne Frank's Museum). They are inspirational because even when we go through our darkest periods in our life there is always that light, that little bit of joy that can make you forget about the darkness.

“But I believe in true love, you know? I don't believe that everybody gets to keep their eyes or not get sick or whatever, but everybody should have true love, and it should last at least as long as your life does.”

These are three topics all explored in this story. It is a real life mixture of things that we all face, some on a daily basis. I love this story because it goes beyond the love story, it is almost like a love life. It showcases the beginning, the struggles, the happiness, the simplicity, the complications and the untimely end.
I could talk about this book for hours, and with certain friends I have. It is something I believe everyone should read. It might not change your life, it might not even move you but it tells you a story. A story that hasn't been told this way before. Written from Hazel's point of view, John Green has an amazing talent to speak for a generation that he is longer part of. It is so authentic.
It is a major tear jerker but it can also make you laugh out loud. It can make your heart ache but also flutter. What I chose to get from this book is that we all have moments of pain, we all have moments where we want to give up; but what you have to hold on to is the true beauty of life. There are people in your life that make your life what it is and you shouldn't deny yourself the pleasure of being with them.
True love isn't something I have ever experienced, but I hold out for it one day. I hold out for my Augustus Waters. Okay?

Depression - In My Words

First of all I should say that I am not depressed, but I am around it a lot. I am not going to name anyone I know. If someone suffers from this then it is their choice to tell people. It is a big part of their life and it is none of my business unless they want to make it my business. The main reason I wanted to do this post is because I feel it is a topic spoken about a lot - but rarely in the right way. I am not saying I have all the answers, this is purely my opinion.

Depression is a mental illness and it is incredibly hard to watch someone suffer from it. They become a shell of the person that they used to be. They lose a lot of their personality and it can seem on some day's that you can't break them out of it. The worst thing I have found out is asking someone what is wrong, they can't explain it. You get the obligatory 'I'm fine' response. I have never realised how much meaning the word 'fine' has. It doesn't mean they are feeling well, happy or the dictionary definition of fine. It can mean the exact opposite and it is a word that covers up a lot of pain, it is a word used instead of a whole book of negative words. They don't want to burden anyone else with their real thoughts.

 A way I have thought of depression is running down an endless corridor in the dark. You can't see the end of it and you can't see a way out but you keep on going further and further. Its heartbreaking to watch. I want to help but there is no way. Making them laugh doesn't stop it, making them talk doesn't stop it and distracting them doesn't stop it. It is a part of them. One thing I have developed a hatred for is people using the word 'depressed' as on off the cuff remark for when they are sad about something. No you are not depressed! Depression is a mental illness, often sparked by an event or even sometimes passed down through a family. It affects the ability to think clearly, to feel anything. No one on earth would choose the nightmare of depression over an averagely turbulent normal life. It’s not an incapacity to cope with day to day living in the modern world. It’s an incapacity to function.

I hear a lot about how depressed people should just 'snap out of it' or 'get over it'. This is possibly the worst thing you could say. You don't think they are trying? You don't think it kills them a little bit more everyday when they have to take a pill just to function in every day life? They see people getting on with things and they crave this. Depression is real. Just because you've never had it doesn't make it imaginary. So if you know someone with depression show some compassion. It is not something they want and they sure don't want attention based on the fact they have a mental illness. Treat them normally when you find out; they are still the same person. Depression sometimes is not just inside it can show in other ways and in some cases deadly. Physical symptoms such as nausea, vomiting, fatigue, chronic pain, diarrhea, insomnia etc. are common symptoms of major depression. 

Yes, we all have our own shit going on - so make sure you get the help you require. Don't judge someone who may be going through something aswell, something more extreme. Don't cast it off as attention seeking because it isn't. I don't want to be dramatic but your negative comment could be the last thing they needed to make an extreme decision ...

Its easy - think before you speak.