My Own Personal Top 10

What I am about to do is highly personal, some may say too personal. It is going to reveal a part of me that us, as a society, often don't want to show of ourselves. It is 'My Top 10 Most Played Songs'. You may be pulling a face that reads 'who cares', but let me ask you this, are you willing to share the songs that you and only you listen to over and over again? The music that you blast through those two little ear buds, secure in the knowledge no one else can hear and in the comfort of knowing that your own personal soundtrack is following you through life. We all have those guilty pleasures that we don't feel the need to tell people, but today I am taking a stand and breaking the boundaries that we have put ourselves behind. I am revealing my Top 10.

1. The Veronicas - You Ruin Me (Played 213 times)
This is the brand spanking new song from the aussie twins. I love it and when I love something I love it hard - playing it over 200 times in a matter of weeks. It is a heartbreaking song about been betrayed  by the one you love. I melt for a depressing song.

2. Carrie Underwood - Something in the Water (Played 190 times)
Country? Check. Gospel? Check. A choir? Check. Carrie's flawless vocals? Double check. I don't expect anything less than perfection from this county bumpkin. This song could quite possibly be my new miming-like-I-can-belt-a-song-out song. A song about finding God, not usually a topic for my music but this song hit me. Praise Jesus.

3. Glee Cast - How Will I Know (Played 154 times)
Yes, judge away - I like the music of Glee. This one is special as it was sung completely acapella in a tribute episode to the late, great Whitney Houston. Amazingly showcased the vocals of the four stars of the show. It is one of those special songs that I just really enjoy hearing.

4. Pistol Annies - Unhappily Married (Played 150 times)
I do enjoy a depressing song, but maybe just maybe I think I love an angry song even more. There is something about hearing bitterness and insults through music that just gets to me. This songs talks from the viewpoint of an unsatisfied wife, it is funny, witty and serious all in one.

5. Jessica Bassett - Lydia (Played 146 times)
I was shocked myself when I saw how many times I had played this song. I first heard it on an American Idol audition - I don't even watch the show! For some reason I clicked on this audition. At first I thought it was just the music they play over the auditionee when they are talking - turned out it was the audition. Her voice is so soothing and the song is a beautiful letter to her best friend.

6. Pistol Annies - I Feel a Sin coming on (Played 145 times)
These country cuties made the list again. This is the first song off their second album. Miranda Lambert opens the song with her flawless voice. Its a slow tempo song, mainly just finger clicking for the music. I can't tell you why I love it because I don't know. I just do goddamnit.

7. Colbie Caillat - Breakeven (Played 140 times)
This is the beautiful Colbie doing a cover of The Script's 'Breakeven'. And I am sorry to the Irish lads but I love this version so much more! A song about heartbreak after a break up. She mixes it with 'Fast Car' by Tracey Chapman just to knock the nail on the head. If I had to audition for a talent show (and could sing) this would be my choice.

8. Glee Cast - Season's Of Love (Played 139 times)
Another Glee song. I don't care. This was the opening song on the episode where we discovered Finn had died. Cried like a baby from the first second. Taken from the musical Rent and given the Glee treatment, with Amber Riley's perfect vocals it just sent shivers down my spine. It's so beautifully sad, made even worse by the fact that this cast was saying goodbye to an actual cast mate.

9. Beyonce - Heaven (Played 136 times)
Quite possibly one of the saddest songs in existence. I don't think we have ever had a confirmed explanation for this song - but I don't think we need one. That's the magic of music, we make our own stories to fit the songs. This a truly heartbreaking song about loss. I like sad music, so this is one of my go-to songs.

10. OneRepublic - Preacher (Played 132 times)
Another choir! God, I love them. I have a theory that I may have expressed before - every song sounds better with a choir. I fell in love with this song the second I heard it, so I never stopped listening to it. The whole album is amazing, but this is the jewel in the crown for me.

So this list was quite revealing in a couple of ways. It definitely revealed me as lover of depressing and angsty songs. I don't know what the pull is there but I truly enjoy them more than any other type of song. Also the numbers were quite a lot higher than I imagined they would be, I may need to venture out in to new music, getting stuck in my ways. I am willing to take suggestions.

Stop Plastic Surgery Shaming!

So Renée Zellweger has made all the headlines today as she was photographed looking slightly different than the Bridget Jones we have come to know and love (I still laugh out loud every time at that point in the film when she is in the hotel foyer after her head scarf flew off in the open top car). Yes, her face did look different, but who cares? Apparently everyone should care, magazine and blogs have had professional plastic surgeons commenting on what she could have had done, before and after pictures flood my Facebook wall and Twitter feed and even some news channels have picked up the story. However, I ask you 'Why do you care?'. I mean who is she hurting, how will this affect anyone's life and what the hell does it have to do with you?

For years and years we have picked apart anyone who has dared to go under the knife to improve their appearance, whether it to fight the signs of ageing or to change the shape and size of certain features. In my own opinion I have always thought that if it's your body then do what the hell you want with it. We all have things that we would change about ourselves, go ahead and ask even the most secure friend on your contact list and I bet my life savings that they would change something. We live in a world where everything still isn't enough. We all want more than what we have, not selfishly - it's human nature.

I for one stand up and applaud anyone that had the balls to go and change something about themselves that they weren't happy with. If I had unlimited funds I would literally have a never ending list of surgeries I require, I am only 26 and that list will multiply with every birthday. Yet we can't understand when someone in the public eye does something about their insecurities. Heidi Montag (of The Hills fame) famously had multiple surgeries in one day to fix everything she wasn't happy with, and all we did was laugh, scoff and insult. You really think she needed to hear that? Some of those surgeries are irreversible, she is stuck with them - but we didn't care, instead we chose to mock. I thought she was beautiful before and beautiful after, she didn't lose any Heidi - she just changed her appearance.

We all do little things everyday to change our appearance before we step out the door, whether it be straighten our hair, add a bit of make-up, tan our skin, whiten our teeth, put on a push-up bra - the list is endless. Yet we scorn people that make permanent fixes. I don't care if people go on to make money from their surgeries, more power to them. Launch a modelling career with your new boobs - I don't care. All that matters is that that person is happy.

Renée Zellweger had the perfect response to anyone chatting shit about her new look (not that she had to say anything at all):

 "Perhaps I look different. Who doesn't as they get older?! But I am different. I'm happy."

My argument for why Olivia Pope is quite possibly the best Leading Lady of all time.

I often unashamedly admit my love for the leading lady too many times. I just have such an affection for women who lead a show, who are the matriarchs of their own world. These women can be lawyers, mothers, teachers, TV executives, deputy directors of Park and Recreation, doctors, nurses; they can be anything they want and still  be the most powerful person, the most dramatic person, the strongest person, the most vulnerable person.

Shows that feature a female lead have multiplied over the last decade, in fact for the first time ever the biggest night on American TV (Thursday) on one of the biggest networks (ABC) there are 3 shows all dedicated to the lives of women. We should take a moment to bow our heads to the Queen that is Shonda Rhimes who wrote all 3 of them (Scandal, Grey's Anatomy and How to Get Away With Murder).

However I am not here to talk about all the leading ladies in my life, I am here to talk about one in particular - Olivia Pope. Played by the beautiful, talented Kerry Washington. I will stand up and say that she is the most well written female characters of all time. Olivia is what is known as a 'Fixer', she takes on people's problems and makes them go away, although these aren't any small problems - we are talking about world wide scale political scandals. She puts her neck on the line every time she takes on a client, she saves lives and reputations. However she isn't one without her own scandal - she did have an affair with the President of the United States for quite some time. We can't be mad at her for this though, at the end of the day she is still human - she has needs just like the rest of us.

What I love the most about Olivia is her humanity, yes she fixes problems for some of the worst people in politics but she doesn't do it without letting them know exactly how she feels. No one gets away scot free. She will show her disgust if she is disgusted, but she will show her sympathy if she feels for the person. She has one of the most level heads in the game, she sees what people see and what people want to see. My favourite moments of hers is when she breaks, when she shows her emotions and she shows just when it gets too much. She maybe be a hero to a lot of people but she isn't super by any means. Her weaknesses are her family, her love affairs and her fellow Gladiators.

She can be forgiven for having weaknesses, for instance she must come from one of the most disturbed, fucked up TV families of all time. Her father is the commander of a secret government division that doesn't exactly follow the law, and her mother? Well, she is cold blooded killer. It's amazing Olivia came out so strong at all. Her Gladiators (co-workers) are a weakness to her because they have become her family now, they are the people she leans on and the ones she wants to help. Her relationship with Huck pulls at my heartstrings everytime. She takes broken people and builds them up again, and the love she develops can only be compared to that of a family. Then there is her other weakness - love. She is in love with the married President of the USA. They had their affair and it ended (or has it?!) They both need each other and they can't walk away.

I made quite a bold statement to say she is one of the most well written female characters of all time, but I will stand by it unless something goes dramatically bad. She breaks all the stereotypes, she creates a new president.

A scene from the last episode - the acting ability and strength of character floored me

Olivia and Huck

And please just for a second can we applaud the amazing costume designers of the show

The Craigy's 2014

It is that time once again ladies and gentleman.  Welcome to the 2014 Craigy's! An award celebrating the shows that may get overlooked or for the simple reason I love them. I feel over the years I have become an opinion on TV as I have put more hours into it then most will in their life time.

I have limited each category to 7 nominees each, this was tough as I feel I may have missed a few, but I am not as flawless - so take your drama outside.

Congratulations to all the winners.

 

All I Have To Do Is Dream

I have a real love/hate relationship with dreams. 

I can have the best dreams, the ones that make you wake up with a smile on your face, the ones that make you think about things. My mind can wander at the best of times, so when it is given full reign of my thoughts it just takes off. I have found myself in zombie attacks, hostage situations, Hollywood parties, TV shows (been a cast member of Keeping up with the Kardashians was a particular favourite) and so many more scenarios. I also have the dreams which show my normal life back to me with some highlights, I like these. I have the worst memory so its nice to see them played back in HD - it's like Emma Willis is showing me my 'best moments' after I left the Big Bro house.

Then there are the horrid ones, and I'm not actually talking about nightmares. I absolutely hate the dreams that show what you can't have. It makes sense you dream about them because at the late point in the night when it's just you and your thoughts left, it is what you think about (unless you are content in life I guess). For example I thought I was over a crush I had, then I had the dream - damn, kick in your crotch, spit on your neck fantastic. Dreams really do affect your day don't they? You can't stop thinking about them. You have those realisation moments where you realise it was just that - a dream. 

Dreams are a magical thing, if I start to think too much about them my face looks as puzzled as it did when I tried watching Game of Thrones for the first time. Like, how does the mind work? How are we able to think in our sleep when technically we are recharging? I am sure there is a medical/scientific reason behind it all but for right now I am going to go with the magic theory I have. I love a good dream, its a movie that only I get to see. I just wish you could pick which type you could get, like the Netflix homepage - pick which genre I fancy that night, because I tell ya I don't want any dreams like I had the other night about the crush - put me in a mood for at least 17 hours. 

'Dreams are illustrations from the book your soul is writing about you' - Marsha Norman

I Love The Veronicas

It is very rare for a band to come out and for me to fall for them, sure I will love a song or even love an album - but with this band I love them. Everything they do. It isn't even biased, I genuinely love everything they have put out. Step forward The Veronicas. 

I just did a quick wiki search on the girls and it kind of shocked me - I have been a fan of their's for 9 years. NINE YEARS! I fell for them the second I heard '4ever'. There was these twins rocking out and driving their Mini Cooper around, taking polaroids and having fun. I was hooked, had to know everything about them (when I join a fandom, I join a fandom hard). I got their CD imported from Australia and never looked back. This band has everything I look for - they are fun, yet deep, they are happy, yet emotional. They write all their own stuff, play instruments and know how to put on a show. Plus for some strange reason (maybe because I am a twin) I love that they are twins, I love seeing twins work together and be successful. 

As a Veronica fan there has been quite a lull in my life, they disappeared for 5 years. The music just stopped, they were on top and they went away. Their single 'Untouched' was a smash the world over (top 10 in the Uk and top 20 in the US) and then we heard nothing. We kept getting promises of new material but that never happened. Last year they graced us with a one off single which they only released in Australia and then they bowed out again leaving us wanting more. I have heard there was issues with the record company so all can be forgiven. 

Now as I type though they are officially back!!! They have a killer new song called 'You Ruin Me'. It is a beautiful haunting ballad that you can tell comes from the heart of these beautiful brunet aussies. Really showcases their talents as singers and song writers. It makes you stop in your tracks and listen. And we also have news of a new album, simply called 'The Veronicas'. I seriously can't wait. I can't wait for them to come back to the UK for a tour, I can't wait for new music, new music videos, more performances, more everything. 

I love you Jess and Lisa and I cannot wait.

Buy their new single here - The Veronicas - You Ruin Me

10 Ways To Get Over A Crush

After my time on this planet I have learnt a few things. One of them been how to get over a crush. I find it a very good skill to have as I have fallen victim to the crush monster one or two (hundred) times. Some have been major and life consuming, and some have been a bit meh. A crush is a weird thing, its a pain that you don't mind having so much, you suffer but sometimes it is nice to know that you have this emotion. You have the ability to like someone on such a level that you convince yourself that you are ready for a commitment, and you are ready for someone to know every nook and cranny of you. So after all these times and occasions I have formed a short list of things you can do to get over a crush - lets go.

1. Tell your friends your emotions. Sharing is caring in this case. It may be hard to admit this truth because it can be very revealing of you, but I can guarantee that your friend will make you feel better - because they will no doubt tell you how good you are and awful your crush is. Winner.

2. Cry. Let it out and let it go. Crying is a great thing, its like you get to flush everything out in one big go - a colonic for the soul if you will.

3. Go outside. A distraction can do you the world of good. Go do something different and meet different people, you never know you may meet your next crush - or lover if you're lucky.

4. Look at yourself. You aren't a bad person but you can take this time to re-evaluate yourself. Why didn't your crush like you? Time for a bit of tough love. This could do you a lot of good though, improve yourself on the outside and feel better on the inside.

5. Watch a romantic movie. This could sound like torture, but it doesn't have to be. In a lot of romantic films you see a lot of ups and downs in a person's love life - now place yourself in the movie, you are only half way through you're story. Your happy ending hasn't happened yet, but if Julia Roberts/Sandra Bullock/Jennifer Aniston/Reese Witherspoon/Katherine Heigl have taught me anything, it's coming.

6. Listen to sad music. Personally I find depressing music the best type of music, and in times when having to get over crushes it can become a crutch. It is nice to know that someone has been going through the same thing - and they put it to a nice melody and make it rhyme. Plus getting to mime your pain in a mirror whilst imagining you're Taylor Swift never hurt anyone.

7. Find their flaws. This might sound cruel, but for so long you have been focused on their best features. It can be therapeutic to notice the things about them that ain't so pretty.

8. Out of sight, out of mind. If it is too bad a reminder of what you don't have every time you see them, then get away. Step aside, leave the room, get on a bus. It isn't going to do your confidence any good when you have to remind yourself that you don't have what you want.

9. Be aware of a relapse. Getting over a crush can take a long long time, it is hard work and sometimes you may find that you slip. You catch a glimpse and you just melt, they say hello and you want to grab them or their name pops up on your phone and a smile comes across your face that rivals the cheshire cat. This is okay. We aren't perfect.

10. Admit defeat. Maybe they are with someone else or a thousand miles away, it is time for you to move on, wipe the tear off your face, shake your hair in to messy yet stylish style and walk on with the pride of Beyonce. However don't confuse this defeat with failure. The fact that you aren't with the person you want has nothing to do with your own self worth. Some things are beyond your control.

I hope these 10 steps help someone, a crush can be soul destroying and really knock your self confidence - but they don't have to. Letting go and moving on is a process, it won't happen over night and you will relapse - this isn't failure, this is all part of it. So go on and go forth, don't let your crush end you. There is someone out there that will crush on you.