Frenemies

The Urban Dictionary defines a Frenemy as 'The type of "friend" whose words or actions bring you down.(whether you realise it as intentional or not) The type of friend you ought to cut off but don't because ... they're nice ... good ... you've had good times with them. You know they're good people that you can count on to bring you down again sometime in the near future.'

So why do we keep them around? Why do we do it to ourselves? We should only concern ourselves with people that benefit us. I do not mean this in a selfish way, but I guess maybe in someways I do. Let me explain, we only get one spin on this Earth so lets not waste it. Lets not give our energy or time to someone who is only there to make you feel shit about yourself. When I talk about someone who benefits us I simply mean someone who adds a positive to your life. Someone who gives you the odd compliment, someone who praises you successes , someone who will help you with your failures and even someone that has the rare quality of been excited for something good that is happening to you even if it doesn't affect them. I don't think this is selfish to expect at all, we are all human and able to do these things.

A sad fact is that you're best friend yesterday can be your frenemy tomorrow. Something can change and they can turn sour. Often they will even blame you for it and say that YOU changed or that they finally see 'the real you'. Don't be afraid to call bullshit on this. If you know deep down that you didn't change and even if you did it was for personal growth - then it is their problem, don't try and win someone back by actually changing or reverting. This person may even be delusional and think they are helping you out by giving you the 'truth', they can do one. This person is a poison and you need to be cured instantly.

Cutting someone off can be extremely hard, but believe me it is so worth it in the end. I probably did do it the cowardly way and I just stopped replying - they eventually got it. However, I don't care I am so much happier and freer because of it. I consider myself a lucky person, I have amazing friends who actually seem to want to hang out with me. We may not even speak for months at a time, but for me thats ok. I was never that person that needed a friend handcuffed to me. I have people that can help me if I ever need it and I hope they know I would drop anything to go and help them.

I guess what I am saying is that we should only ever surround ourselves with good people. People who you love and people that love you back. Forget everyone else, this is your turn on this planet and you get to decide how you experience it. Never accept this blurred line of a frenemy - it is better to have an enemy who honestly says they don't like you, than to have a friend who says it behind your back. Don't fear the enemy that attacks you, but the fake friend who hugs you.