It's not the most attractive trait for a human to have, but I have it. I believe that 100% of the human race suffers from it. No one can be that secure that they don't suffer from it. I am of course talking about jealousy. We all want what someone else has for the pure reason that we don't have it. There are many different types of jealousy; and I feel like I suffer from them all.
It can be small things that I get jealous of, for instance if I am in a restaurant and I see someone chose a better meal than me and I am left stuck with the same meal I have every time. These are little annoyances that I face everyday of my life. I always seem to make the wrong choice. For example if there are two buses going to the same place, I always and I mean always pick the one that leaves the station second - not because I knew the times, but because fate seems to love to hate me.
I also suffer from major life jealousies. I get 'friend envy' a hell of a lot. This can raise its ugly head in different ways. I get jealous when a friend makes a new friend that I don't know, I get jealous when I see my friends make plans for them (the worst is when you are standing right there and they make plans that don't include you). I think this comes from never been anyone's first choice. Everyone has that one friend that is a bit closer than other friends or they have a boyfriend/girlfriend. I always seem to take a back seat when it comes to that. I am the friend you call when others have cancelled.
Another jealousy I suffer from (hold on readers, there are a few) is when your crush starts dating someone or gets in a relationship. I have talked about crushes before (link) and it can be any of those. Any crush you have, when they suddenly become happy with someone else it can be soul destroying. This can make you hideously insecure and very unhappy. This is one of those jealousies you can't even do anything about, except just be happy for them. They should be happy. I haven't quite been able to achieve happiness for a crush but I am sure one day I will. Fingers crossed for me.
One major jealousy I have is of rich people. They can buy anything and everything I want. I buy a meal deal from Boots for my lunch, they go to a restaurant. I get the bus, they get their driver to take them places. I sleep in a room the size of a shoebox, their closets are bigger than my house. I always want more than what I have and it sucks, I don't know how to achieve these things, or I just don't want to do the things it takes to get them.
The moral of the story is that we all get jealous. Its a sucky human attribute. It can be an all consuming and there isn't anything you can do about it. You have to be happy with what you have, but whats wrong with wanting what someone else has?
'And I know that I'm being hateful but that ain't nothing. That ain't nothing. I'm just jealous. I'm just human. Don't judge me.' Beyonce - Jealous (even Queen Bey gets jealous).
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