10 Ways To Get Over A Crush

After my time on this planet I have learnt a few things. One of them been how to get over a crush. I find it a very good skill to have as I have fallen victim to the crush monster one or two (hundred) times. Some have been major and life consuming, and some have been a bit meh. A crush is a weird thing, its a pain that you don't mind having so much, you suffer but sometimes it is nice to know that you have this emotion. You have the ability to like someone on such a level that you convince yourself that you are ready for a commitment, and you are ready for someone to know every nook and cranny of you. So after all these times and occasions I have formed a short list of things you can do to get over a crush - lets go.

1. Tell your friends your emotions. Sharing is caring in this case. It may be hard to admit this truth because it can be very revealing of you, but I can guarantee that your friend will make you feel better - because they will no doubt tell you how good you are and awful your crush is. Winner.

2. Cry. Let it out and let it go. Crying is a great thing, its like you get to flush everything out in one big go - a colonic for the soul if you will.

3. Go outside. A distraction can do you the world of good. Go do something different and meet different people, you never know you may meet your next crush - or lover if you're lucky.

4. Look at yourself. You aren't a bad person but you can take this time to re-evaluate yourself. Why didn't your crush like you? Time for a bit of tough love. This could do you a lot of good though, improve yourself on the outside and feel better on the inside.

5. Watch a romantic movie. This could sound like torture, but it doesn't have to be. In a lot of romantic films you see a lot of ups and downs in a person's love life - now place yourself in the movie, you are only half way through you're story. Your happy ending hasn't happened yet, but if Julia Roberts/Sandra Bullock/Jennifer Aniston/Reese Witherspoon/Katherine Heigl have taught me anything, it's coming.

6. Listen to sad music. Personally I find depressing music the best type of music, and in times when having to get over crushes it can become a crutch. It is nice to know that someone has been going through the same thing - and they put it to a nice melody and make it rhyme. Plus getting to mime your pain in a mirror whilst imagining you're Taylor Swift never hurt anyone.

7. Find their flaws. This might sound cruel, but for so long you have been focused on their best features. It can be therapeutic to notice the things about them that ain't so pretty.

8. Out of sight, out of mind. If it is too bad a reminder of what you don't have every time you see them, then get away. Step aside, leave the room, get on a bus. It isn't going to do your confidence any good when you have to remind yourself that you don't have what you want.

9. Be aware of a relapse. Getting over a crush can take a long long time, it is hard work and sometimes you may find that you slip. You catch a glimpse and you just melt, they say hello and you want to grab them or their name pops up on your phone and a smile comes across your face that rivals the cheshire cat. This is okay. We aren't perfect.

10. Admit defeat. Maybe they are with someone else or a thousand miles away, it is time for you to move on, wipe the tear off your face, shake your hair in to messy yet stylish style and walk on with the pride of Beyonce. However don't confuse this defeat with failure. The fact that you aren't with the person you want has nothing to do with your own self worth. Some things are beyond your control.

I hope these 10 steps help someone, a crush can be soul destroying and really knock your self confidence - but they don't have to. Letting go and moving on is a process, it won't happen over night and you will relapse - this isn't failure, this is all part of it. So go on and go forth, don't let your crush end you. There is someone out there that will crush on you.

Why 'The Fault in Our Stars' is important.

Reading a quick description of this book would not give it justice or entice many people to read it. The skeleton of this book is that is a love story, a love story of two teenagers each battling cancer or some variant of the disease. I will give it you, it doesn't sound like a laugh riot of a story; it does have a few laughs in it, the kind of laughs that are heartwarming and helps to push the point that even in our darkest times we can crack a smile. It is a deep, emotional, make-your-eyes-sting-from-crying kind of story. Written by the genius that is John Green, it is a story that touches you and gives you an outlook on life we don't always seek out. The slap in the face realism of teenagers suffering from incurable diseases really makes you think, well it did me. Excuse the lame cliche but life is short. I took a lot away from this book; so below I wrote a few things that I think are important messages from this book.

SPOILER ALERT . SPOILER ALERT . SPOILER ALERT . SPOILER ALERT

Death
John Green isn't afraid to explore the world of death in this story, and why should he be? It is the one certainty of life.  These characters have it forced upon them in the most cruelest way, they have incurable diseases that have a best before date stamped on the side like a bottle of milk. What shocked me the most is the speed in which it happens. Augustus' death was a huge shocker to me, to me he seemed like the healthiest of the bunch, he was getting over his illness and living a normal as normal life he could. Then it took a swift detour of a cliff. He died so suddenly leaving behind a broken hearted Hazel and Isaac. However, because they have had to face the inevitable for so long they take it, they learn from it and they accept it. They aren't by any stretch of the imagination happy about it but they deal and they are grateful for what they get. There is a great quote from the book which had me in tears:

'There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set.I want more numbers than I’m likely to get, and God, I want more for Augustus Waters than he got. But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I’m grateful.' Hazel Grace

Pain
"That's the thing about pain," Augustus said, and then glanced back at me. "It demands to be felt."

I am in love with this quote, it is so real and deep and its something that no one actually wants to accept. However they have had to accept it, it is their truth on a daily basis. And just like death they deal with it. No one should have to live with pain but unfortunately it is a part of life, we have to feel it to know that we feel something. This book explores pain in many different way, it has emotional pain, physical pain and mental pain. The most powerful message I got from the book is that pain is human nature, we have to go through it but it doesn't have to be the be all and end all. There is a time that the pain stops.

Love
I may not be advertising this book very well, especially to people that don't enjoy a depressing read. If you ignore the pain and death there is a timeless love story there. Through unfortunate circumstances these two beautiful people meet. They have an undeniable spark and a banter that just makes them connect. Sadly they do have a strong connection through their similarities.
When you watch them together in the film, or visualise it from the book you don't see the cancer when they are together. I see love, undeniable, gorgeous, youthful love. They each found someone that cares about them that isn't afraid for everyone to know (evident by a kiss in front of a crowd of people at Anne Frank's Museum). They are inspirational because even when we go through our darkest periods in our life there is always that light, that little bit of joy that can make you forget about the darkness.

“But I believe in true love, you know? I don't believe that everybody gets to keep their eyes or not get sick or whatever, but everybody should have true love, and it should last at least as long as your life does.”

These are three topics all explored in this story. It is a real life mixture of things that we all face, some on a daily basis. I love this story because it goes beyond the love story, it is almost like a love life. It showcases the beginning, the struggles, the happiness, the simplicity, the complications and the untimely end.
I could talk about this book for hours, and with certain friends I have. It is something I believe everyone should read. It might not change your life, it might not even move you but it tells you a story. A story that hasn't been told this way before. Written from Hazel's point of view, John Green has an amazing talent to speak for a generation that he is longer part of. It is so authentic.
It is a major tear jerker but it can also make you laugh out loud. It can make your heart ache but also flutter. What I chose to get from this book is that we all have moments of pain, we all have moments where we want to give up; but what you have to hold on to is the true beauty of life. There are people in your life that make your life what it is and you shouldn't deny yourself the pleasure of being with them.
True love isn't something I have ever experienced, but I hold out for it one day. I hold out for my Augustus Waters. Okay?

TV Deaths

For me a death scene can be the making of a TV show. If they write it right then you know you have a great show. If the death actually affects you emotionally than that is a sign of a good writer. TV deaths always affect me more than a death in a film. I think this is because you have watched these character's development and you have unwittingly become invested. Also you watch how it affects the rest of the characters and this can be just as devastating. Saying good bye to a character can feel like someone you know. Below I have written about 11 character's death' that really got to me and stuck with me.

Ben Sullivan (Scrubs)

He wasn't a main character and he wasn't even a secondary character, he only appeared in 3 episodes. He was the friend of Dr. Cox, he gave us an insight to a more personable and softer side to Dr. Cox. For me his death was a shock, I never even saw it coming. I fell into the trap of believing what I was seeing. We were led to believe that Dr. Cox was having a good time with his old pal and they were on their way to a birthday party - when in reality Dr. Cox was going to Ben's funeral and a way to cope was to imagine his friend was right by the side of him. I was floored and in shock when a sullen J.D appeared and asked him 'Where do you think we are?'. I tip my feathered hat to Scrubs - they blend comedy and drama perfectly.

Cassie (Buffy The Vampire Slayer)

Again she wasn't a main character either, she was only in one episode. We were introduced to her and had to say goodbye to her in 42 minutes (I know she later appears as The First but that doesn't count). Basically the premise was that Cassie believed she was going to die on a certain day, Buffy being her guidance councillor believed she was suicidal - then Buffy later found out that she was to be a sacrifice in a demonic ritual. Buffy goes in and kicks some demon ass, saves Cassie, everyone is happy, Cassie is wrong and she will live. Seconds later Cassie falls to the floor and dies due to an unknown heart problem. The truly heartbreaking moment of the episode is when Buffy tries to convince her to live and Cassie tells her she wants to and lists all the things she wants to do in life, but will never get to.

Eli (Desperate Housewives)

Another character that only appeared in one episode, but he actually lived amongst the ladies for years. In the 100th episode we are introduced to him as the handyman who did so much more. He was a huge part of the ladies lives and we are shown through flashbacks just how much he was. The saddest moment is before he dies and in a flashback we see him talking to Mary-Alice just before she commits suicide - and then we see him outside as they take her body away, he is just standing there crying. My heart dropped - grown men crying always gets me. He was a great character and I am so glad we were introduced to him.

Batley (Emmerdale)

He was the pet of Edna Birch. She was a hard as nails pensioner who listened to the Lord and no-one else. Batley brought out the softer and more loving side to her. It was a real friendship and a companion for her in her lonely life. It was absolutely heart-wrenching when she had to say goodbye to him. I don't really watch soap operas, but for me this scene was beyond. Me and my whole family cried at that very moment.

Anya (Buffy The Vampire Slayer)

Anya was always one of my favourite characters on Buffy. After appearing in season 3 as a vengeance demon, then later becoming mortal, then falling in love with Xander, to being a shop keeper and then finally becoming a demon again, she supplied so much humour. My favourite scene from Anya (which incidentally isn't a funny one) is when she can't grasp the idea of death when Buffy's mum dies. She asks all the questions that aren't supposed to be asked - Emma Caulfield's acting was top notch. Anyway, Anya is one of the victims of the final battle in season 7. All fans knew that we were going to lose a major character, I for one did not think it would be Anya. She is sliced almost in half from behind moments before Sunnydale falls in to the Hellmouth. She was an amazing character, and if they do make a movie in the future I will be truly upset if they don't at least acknowledge her.

Prue (Charmed)

This death came at such a huge shock, in the Charmed world it seemed as if the sisters were invincible. Yes they get hurt and damaged but they always get back up. In the last scene of season 3 Prue was thrown through a wall - but this time she didn't get back up. The death was a little bit sullied by the fact that Prue had to be killed off because Shannen Doherty was fired. However, this did not stop the show from growing. The saddest scene is when Piper can't handle the death and screams at Prue's burial place, blaming her for leaving her. I always wished that Prue came back for a cameo in some form - its the supernatural world so I am sure they could have worked something out.

George (Grey's Anatomy)

This was another huge shocker aswell, we didn't even see the incident which ultimately ended his life. Instead we are shown a John Doe appear in the hospital and then we find out at the same time as Meredith when he draws 007 (his nickname) on her hand as he can't speak. He later dies in surgery. He was such a major character that was there from day one, he is a character that I got invested in because I didn't think I would have to say goodbye to him on the show. I always wished him and Izzy got together, but also I understand why it wouldn't have worked. The scene where we last see him with Izzy is heartbreaking. What happens is they are both wearing their best and they get into a lift together - metaphorical of the idea they are moving on.

Denny (Grey's Anatomy)

If there is one thing I can guarantee I will get from Grey's Anatomy is water filled eyes and a snotty nose. They are geniuses when it comes to writing a devastating storyline, but for me this tipped me over the edge. Denny is a character who is waiting for a heart transplant, he falls in love with his doctor, Izzy, and she also falls in love with him. She has a plan to cut his wire to a machine thats keeping him alive so he will be rushed in to an operating theatre and receive a heart that is meant for someone else. Doesn't really go to plan, and Denny dies. The soundtrack is 'Chasing Cars' by Snowpatrol and it just added to the devastation. Watching Izzy's reaction and morning was really hard - Katherine Heigl should of won every award.

Joyce (Buffy The Vampire Slayer)

For a show that is about a girl saving the world hundreds of time, they sure know how to knock us out with a death scene. 'The Body' is up there with one of my favourite  episodes of Buffy ever. It is so pure and perfect. Joyce is Buffy's mum and she finds her dead on the couch - ironically for Buffy there was no supernatural/demonic element within the story of Joyce's death, so this left Buffy powerless. It was a human part of life that Buffy had no control over. The worst scenes for me where when Dawn is told and when Buffy finds the body - they break my heart. The show was amazingly done, the lack of soundtrack in some parts gave a really realistic feeling to a horrible reality some people have probably faced. It wasn't a dressed up episode, nothing was overdone - it is probably the most human episode of the series. 

Paul Hennessy (8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter)

What truly made this episode truly devastating and hurt so much was the fact that the actor had actually passed in real life, the death of the character had to be written in to compensate for the loss of the actor. They could have gotten another actor but this would not have been right, John Ritter made that character. In the show we see the family find out what happened and then we see the funeral, its hard to watch because you know these emotions are real - they are actually mourning. All the actors did an amazing job and it will forever go down as one my favourite shows of all time.

Finn Hudson (Glee)

This again was another death that was incredibly hard to watch as Cory who played Finn actually died in real life. What I like about the episode is that we were never told how he died - I really liked this because at the end of the day we didn't need to know, we all know the tragic reasons in real life. This episode was hard as it felt like we were just watching a lot of actors mourn on camera. Yes they had words but there wasn't any acting involved for some characters as it all came from the heart. The songs chosen were great aswell and fitted the sombre mood of the show perfectly. I will stand and applaud Lea Michelle as she did an outstanding job. Its hard enough having to go back to work after losing a loved one but to have to do it on camera, sing about him and talk about him - I can't imagine the strength it must have taken just to walk on to the set where she met her husband to be.