People Change: How To Deal With It

The great Leslie Knope once said 'Every time a couple gets married, two single people die', and boy how true this is. When your friends suddenly find someone to have a relationship with everything can change. It can be hard on the friend left behind though, as happy as you are for your friend you can't help but feel replaced. I am a survivor of such a problem so I thought I would impart some knowledge on you folks.

My first piece of advise would be to accept it. The quicker you accept the change the happier you will be. If you used to speak everyday, this will change. If you used to hang out a lot, this will change. It can't be stopped because suddenly your friend has someone else who will take up a lot of their time. They are trying to build a future together and as harsh as it can sound - you are in the way. Before your friend would text you with every musing they have and every issue they have - but now they don't need you anymore.

You may felt you are the one person that knew everything about your friend when they were single, you aren't that person anymore. Let it go. You will always have a bond with your friend if you truly love each other, but now someone has one upped you. They will get to know this person on a whole other level than you never will. This is one of the hardest things to deal with because you will instantly feel like you have been pushed back. Again acceptance is your friend in this situation. It is not the same anymore.

You have to try your best not to be bitter. Yes things have changed, but for your friend that have got a hell of a lot better. Your life hasn't changed for the better, but thats ok. Better to have one miserable person in this world than having two. Relationships take work and time, time they will take away from you. You now have been given the gift of time, not a great thing but maybe you can concentrate on other friends, or maybe even get a hobby.

There is no way around it, it sucks. In life things will change without your consent. It can't always be the same, and you have to acknowledge that so you can give yourself the power to move on with things. That person is still your friend but it isn't the same anymore. I know from experience that as much as they text/call less as time goes by so will you. You don't want to feel like your annoying or getting in the way. You don't want your friend's partner to resent you for taking time away from them - they are more important than you unfortunately.

I think the message of this post is acceptance. Things change. People change. Situations change. You have to roll with the punches - even if the punches hurt.