I don't know what it is about the fashion at this latest award season but I was bored - like in a coma bored. There was no fashion moments at all. Every award show I was thinking 'ok maybe they are saving The Dress for the next award show', I was wrong every time and I hate been wrong. I think maybe the best fashion we saw maybe have been at the Golden Globes - Julianne Moore in that silver Givenchy dress has stuck with me.
So I lay my cards on the table and I was like this is the award show, this is the show where we are going to see some fashion moments. It's MTV for god's sake, there are no rules. Wear what you want and make no apologies. We have a much younger crowd and and a much younger celeb pool. Damn, wrong again. Watching the stars on the red carpet bored me once again. A lot of thigh cut dresses, a few geometric shapes, oh look - legs legs legs. We saw a lot of knees, which is uncomfortable for me as I hate my knees but I digress. I picked a few looks from the night for us to discuss and ponder. I don't particularly have a best or worst dressed list - just a list.
Shailene Woodley
I don't know how to spell the noise of exasperation, but I will give it a go - peurgh. Boring. I get she has this free spirit, eats clay and uses beets for makeup but come on. The reason we look up to celebrities is because they are unattainable, they have access that we can only dream of. I could probably get in a taxi, drive down past Central St. Martins and slap about 30 students on the back of the head who would love to dress her and could do it a damn lot better than this. If she was going for comfort then I give it to her, she looks comfortable. I champion anyone who mixes patterns so well done for that, but those boots are too heavy. The fault is in her closet (get it? I am hi-lar-ious)
Scarlett Johansson
Honest to Jesus the first thought I had when I saw her was 'oh, Jane Fonda looks good'. Lie to me and tell me you don't see what I am talking about. This is the kind of outfit that would make an older lady look more youthful, but unfortunately it works the complete opposite way round on Scarlett. Also if you are going to wear a jumpsuit it has to be perfectly tailored. She has an amazing body and you can't see an inch of it, also it is too long. It should graze the floor, not cover it. I feel like a thin belt would have elevated this look a touch more - anything would have elevated this outfit more. Taking the outfit of would have elevated the outfit more.
Jennifer Lopez
Does this woman age? Like seriously. She could probably play her own daughter in a biopic and no one would question the casting choice. Anyway back to the fashion. Gorgeous. Age appropriate. My favourite colour. Legs for days. Perfect cleavage. The gold on black might be a bit brash but it works for me and for the location. If I had to say anything negative (and this took a lot of soul searching) it would be the shoes; I hate thin ankle straps. They cut the leg and can make you look dumpy. Also there may be one too many bracelets. Lopez is the queen, she rarely disappoints and everyone else should take notes on how this is done.
Amy Shumer
HILARIOUS! I love this woman. Nevers fails to make me laugh. I have never looked at Amy for fashion but I am going to start. She is flaunting all her best assets. Boobs and legs. The thick white lines draw the eyes in to all the right places, the hair is effortlessly quaffed and the accessories are minimal - which is dead on because this outfit doesn't call for them. If we could take a moment to appreciate the shoes. I love a peep toe pump. They elongate the leg, give you an excuse to spend some dollars on a pedicure and they suit everyone. She has just upped her game by like a thousand points.
Kiersey Clemons
She is an undeniable star on the rise. She is stunning and talented. She is going places. And right now she is going to top of my fashion list. This dress is effortless. MTV has no rules and you could wear ready to wear or couture. Kiersey has found the perfect medium. I am not normally a fan of yellow and I would personally never wear it, but against her skin tone this is flawless. The draped top half shows of her figure and floor hitting skirt adds height and is beautiful. I also like the sleeve length, it looks wrong and maybe too long but the gathering at the wrist adds to the relaxed chic. My one criticism, and its a tiny one, is the slit. It stops at a weird height. It either needs to ride right up to the top or no slit at all. I think all the way to top would be sexier and give the gown a more robe appearance which could work so well.
Cara Delevingne
It is so rare to see someone's star rise so fast, lately it seems to be Cara's world and we just have the privilege to watch her. Coming from the fashion world we shouldn't be shocked that she knows how to rock a carpet. Personally I am not in love with this dress, but I actually think its the styling I don't like more than the dress it self. Her hair kind of ruins it for me. I think a fuller, more relaxed wavy hair do would have done the dress more justice. And also because she has so much leg out I think a more wow shoe could have been worn. My main concern with the dress is the sleeves. My God I hate bell bottom sleeves. They are old fashioned and I don't understand. I think a slim fit sleeve would have been perfection.
Jessie J
Oh Jessie, Jessie, Jessie. Face palm. What is this? Are you retiring to Florida? Are you a big fan of Liza Minnelli? Are you trying to do a one woman version of 'Creep" by TLC but with a thousand more sequins? I don't understand. The colour does nothing for your skin tone, the hair needs some more umph and the choker just seems unnecessary. I love you Jessie, your last album was perfect and your voice is unmatched. This was just a fail. I am jealous of your body and I can't imagine the work that goes in to it so why wouldn't you want to show it off?! Jesus knows I would.
I would just like to take a moment to celebrate three of my favourite looks from the night. Step forward Hailee Steinfeld and Rebel Wilson. Then of course the incomparable Bai Ling - she wore a freaking dragon!!
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