Crazy Crushes - Female Edition

We all have them. We question them a lot. There are a number of reasons why we have them and why we question them. I call them crazy crushes. Crazy because it will never happen, there could be a million excuses as to why, you have accepted these reason - but the heart doesn't stop beating for them. You wish them all the best in life; but don't lie to yourself - you are gutted when they are happy with someone else.

I thought I would share my celebrity crazy crushes (we are not close enough, or drunk enough for me to reveal my real life tragic crazy crushes). I will also try to grade our chance of love out of 10 should I ever become a Hollywood stud muffin.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus
I have loved her since The New Adventures of Old Christine but it became real after watching Veep. It could be her character that started the crush, but her face cemented it. She is beautiful. However, she has been married for 26 years and has 2 children
Chance of love - 0/10

Amy Poehler
Comedic Goddess and I am not just talking about her amazing role of Leslie in Parks and Rec. Everything she touches turn to comedy gold. She has 2 children, but has recently got divorced.
Chance of love - 1/10

Tina Fey
Another genius of comedy (I'm starting to see a pattern in my tastes). Beautiful, smart and rocks those thick framed glasses. However, she is married and has 2 kids
Chance of love - 0/10

Mindy Kaling
A huge turn on for me (you listening ladies *wink wink*) is awkwardness. I don't understand why but it warms my heart watching someone be awkward. She is wonderfully awkward (sorry Zooey). She also wrote her own show and stars in it - she got some balls. Not married and no kids.
Chance of love 1/10

Ellen DeGeneres
I often get caught in what us fans call the 'Ellen Trap'. Its where you watch one video of hers on YouTube and before you know you have watched 25 videos and you wonder where your life went. However one word ruins the dream - Lesbian.
Chance of love - 0/10

Victoria Beckham
She is everything. I LOVE HER. She is perfect and I will scratch the eyes out of anyone who says otherwise. She was always my fave Spice Girl. Now she is in the fashion world and her designs (even her haters can't deny) are amazing. However - David, David, David how could anyone compete? And 4 children!?
Chance of love 0/10

Adele
She is hilarious, she makes me cry and she has a truckload of record sales. Her music is beautiful but what attracts me the most to Miss Adkins is her personality. She is so funny, so real and not to sound nasty because I never could be against Adele - she is common as muck - and I love her. However, she just knocked out a kid and she is in a happy relationship. Guess I'll just have to wait for the music.
Chance of love 1/10

The Girls of 'Girls'
This show is amazeballs. So funny and so real. I love all the main girls for individual reasons.
Hannah (Lena Dunham) - her self confidence in her writing met with her self doubt in life make her special. Lena's portrayal of her in the second season with the OCD was amazing to watch.
Marnie (Allison Williams) - she is desperate to be loved but is scared when it happens. Her fashion choices are great (plastic dress?!?) and her singing was beautiful (Stronger?!?)
Jessa (Jemima Kirke) - I am envious of her hippy/gypsy lifestyle. She goes and does whatever she wants. I want to follow.
Shoshanna (Zosia Mamet) - her kid like, Charlotte-from-sex-and-the-city-innocence meets up-tightness make her one of my faves on the show. She is adorable and hilarious.
However, I will never be cool enough to be in the same room as these ladies - ever. I don't even think I am cool enough to go to Brooklyn.
Chance of love - 0/10